Acts 1:8

(Some of you will understand the following post, some of you won't. Sunny: you asked to be notified of disturbing content...well here's the following for ya!!!)

I like to think of myself as board tamago. Like something that fits under one of the pillars. Until now I was thinking "I'm surely JTB...cause I like interacting with people and especially Jetts and JRs and stuff (not that I'm come so far from that yet myself)...and I can imagine that shepherding (little people) would be something I'd really be fulfilled doing."
But I've been getting it all wrong. I've finally found my nitch. Niche? Nietzsche?
I'm a CGO TAMAGO!!!
Yessir, I have found my place, and it's a witnesser. I'd rather not go into the details of what kinds and where, when, for how long, to whom and under what temperatures--but I hope to have a vision for witnessing of all kinds...to do one and not to leave the other undone. But most of all, I want to be Activated.

(Jesus:) Heed My call to you now! Take up arms to join this battle to flood the world with My truth. Fill your arms, your bags, and your cupboards with the life-giving Words that work wonders! Feed the sheep, attract them to the truth of My Words. Use whatever means I show you in your situation--whether it's to hit the streets with Activate(d) mags, to hit the schools with children's books, or to hid the stores with CDs and CD cards. There are no limits! There are no fences! There are simply open doors everywhere, just begging to be walked through!

I've been going through the CGO handbook (huge thick volume of holiness) and the above and a whole score of other quotes were pulled from there. I've been spending every waking moment reading it. It makes me so full of new energy that I tap my fingers and I tap my feet. Man, it's life, man!

The spirit of Leghargy is manifested by...people who do witness, who do get out and distribute tools, maybe even have Bible classes, but who aren't instant witnesses--who don't make sure to carry tracts everywhere they go or make sure to give some kind of witness to every person they encounter.

(Yikesers!)

I wish for all of you, My children, to understand that your faithfulness in witnessing is a great key to My blessings in many areas. I have promised to speak Words of revelation and direction to you. I have promised to make you a financial power, I have promised to lead and guide you in the way that you should go. There are so many blessings--multitudes of blessings that I have in My hand, ready at any moment to pour forth!
So many of these blessings will be reached through tiny, obscure doors. So many of the keys to future fruitfulness, productivity and happiness begin with tiny steps that seem insignificant at the time. Much of your great influence to come, the supply of your needs, and even the finances you seek, will come through avenues that in the beginning are hidden obscure, and even ridiculous in the eyes of man.

There is so much more ahead as you catch the vision more than ever, as you give it all you've got, and as you make Activated your priority. Make it the center of your home. It can involve everyone, and it really should if it's going to have the impact on the Family and the world that it needs to have. You should be praying about how you can involve everyone--the kids, the mommies, the cooks, the teens--and what part they can play. It'll turn the Home around and give everyone the spark and enthusiasm that's needed! You'll be doing your part, so the Lord can do His and fulfill His promises. Now isn't that exciting?

Activated isn't just a magazine--it's a way of life! Activated for the Lord is what each of you need to be! No matter what else happens in the Family, or what other goals and changes and pushes and whatnot come up, being witnesses who feed the sheep will always remain your number one priority--from this time forth, even unto the end of the world!

A long-winded rant about witnessing to come...when I have time to organize my excited thoughts.
(Just in case you're wondering, the young man in the photo above is Jesse, very good friend of mine.)

Totem Ohashi

A Strange Man

I know I haven't posted and I seem to have lost the gift of gabby posting, so in a desperate attempt to write something (anything at all), I've decided to blog about riddles.
Now, I've been hearing an overabundance of riddles recently, and it all started with this OC kid named Kevin who we towed down to the West OC Camp with us (Steve and I). We went on a long busride/trainride/carride with him and heard various intelligent riddles such as:

Kevin: Inside a big box, there's another box...and inside that box...there are 2000 professionally made windows. What is that box?
Me: Uhhh...computer?
Kevin: Wow! How did you know?

Steve, in true adaptable style, starts getting into the groove and swapping riddles with Kevin.

Steve: What's a Johnny without a reason?
Me: What?
Steve: Just John! Because you took away his Y!

Steve (laughing to himself): Hey Florence, I got a good one. What's a man and his family?
Me: Whaaaat...
Steve: A man and kin! A mannequin!
Me: Heh...heh...heh

Steve: What has 8 wheels but only runs on 4 at one time?
Me: I don't care.
Steve: Come on! Guess! You're so lame! Just try!
Me: Fine. No! I don't want to. Just tell me.
Steve: Fine. It's a man with 2 cars!!!

Me: Hahahahahaha I got one. What's a man with three ears!
Kevin: (various intelligent guesses)
Me: No...A STRANGE MAN!! Hahahahahahahahahaha

The good thing about this trip was that, for the most part, Steve and Kevin were silent from one riddle to the next because they were busy thinking up new ones.

About a month, while eating obento before a show, we start discussing riddles again.
Steve comes up with a lame riddle but he has to go around and get suggestions from about 4 people as to how to make it better before he comes out with the final product:

"In what state are all the mineral resources depleted?"
"OREGON!!!"

Yeah yeah yeah. Heh...it's actually kind of funny.
And,

"What state breeds the horniest people?"
"Cali-hornia!"

This evening, while we're sitting around recovering from Dinner, playing taboo, Rick picks a card and says "Okay, what's a knight's club?"
So we're all going around saying stuff like "The round table" "guild" etc and he's getting frustrated. Finally someone says "mace", and Mark starts hopping around saying "WOW, great riddle potential here!"
The final product:

"What's a famous night club?"

You guessed it.

We Brave the Beef Jerky

We had some good school time this morning--every time Mom would leave, Steve and I would pass around the guitar and discuss some kind of musical theory, and when she'd come back Steve would say something like "Mom! Look at this! Florence has been playing the guitar this entire time! I just took it from her!" Loyalty at its finest.
Steve brings out this little green box that is vaguely familiar. Once upon a time (maybe 5 years ago), Steve, Dan and I all had these boxes stuffed full of random household items--survival boxes!!! Exciting things. We dove into Steve's and found some curious things, the only noteworthy ones being suspicious-looking chapstick growing mold, and this antediluvian package of beef jerky.


First of all, I'd just like to say that whoever came up with the word "Jerky" deserves to be called "Jerky" for the rest of eternity. It's a sick word, in more ways than one.
Second, has anyone ever actually had the "Western Roast" reffered to on the package as the flavor? What is this elusive roast?
"NO FAT"...never a good sign. None? At all? Sniff.
The words organic, soy, and protein are dangerous words if used in the same sentence, especially if in the same phrase and in rapid succession.

Most charming aspect of the beef jerky package:

Ahhhhh...who cares. Let's consume the stuff anyway.


Steve bites into the product, and the food connosiuers Dan and Steve discuss texture:
"It's not even chewy, it's just...mooshy."
And then taste:
"It tastes like algae."
And then smell:
(Steve) "Hey, wrap it around your nose and take a big whiff. Ahhhh!"


In the end, Steve was spitting out of the window, and I developed a taste for the delicacy.


I WON the battle of the beef jerky. And I'm proud of it, you bet.

Michelle feeding the koi, and sneaking some herself...

We went to a park in Shizuoka--Dad, Mom, Dan and I. We had a yummy picnic and and fed the fish, and lounged in the library. We went to Donki Hote and I had an episode running in and out of the stores along the entire street looking for a bathroom. I finally found a Mini Stop with a bathroom, but someone was in there and took 15 minutes. I finally went to the front desk and told them that I'd been waiting for the toilet for 15 minutes (I may have exaggerated it to something like 20) and that there was some suspicious person engaging in suspicious activities, hogging the toilet and standing between me and sweet relief. Eventually they did NOTHING about it, and I was forced to return to Donki in a very grouchy mood.
In case you're wondering, I did eventually find a bathroom. I have never been so thankful.

Yes, Niki, I will obey and post the following:

10 entirely random things about me
1. I hate filling my heater with kerosene. It's one of life's little jobs that I just detest doing.
2. I wrote my first novel at 10. (It was about a slave who runs away from his master and gets captured by Indians. Go figure.)
3. Most of my friends are guys.
4. And all of them down throughout history have been one of the following four: Tauruses, Sags, Aquariuses, and Scorpios.
5. I am very critical of literature. I'll tell you that I am able to be unbiased when it comes to any and all styles, but I feel so strongly about my tastes that it's very impossible.
6. I like beer, it's probably the one kind of alcohol that I can stand the most of.
7. I have trouble falling asleep at night. I don't know if I classify as an insomniac, but my Mom says I do. I hate waking up in the morning.
8. I have the most creative inspiration past bedtime.
9. I like skirts that flare. Big...big skirts.
10. I enjoy working out, but I hate it because I can't stop thinking about all the other things I could be doing instead.

9 ways to win my heart
1. Take charge (be confident).
2. Sing silly songs with me.
3. Write me a letter.
4. Give me something tiny and seemingly-worthless with sentimental value.
5. Say things that make me uncomfortable.
6. Call me.
7. Don't copy everything I'm doing when we're kissing.
8. Don't be moody--don't recluse into moods where you want me to leave you alone.
9. Run toward me when you see me.

8 things I carry/wear every day
1. My bright red hairband (either on my wrist or in my hair)
2. A butterfly ring, the only ring I own.
3. Perfume.
4. Orange slippers that are melted at the tips because of an unfortunate incident in front of a heater.
5. Toe socks.
6. A strange expression of some kind (I still haven't decided on my neutral expression).
7. Crooked teeth.
8. High-heeled leather business shoes that clack the loudest out of any pair of shoes I've ever heard in my life.

7 things that annoy me
1. People telling me to do things I was just about to do.
2. People that reason in circles.
3. People that get off on accusing everybody, who can't let a problem slip without pinning it on someone.
4. Waking up in the morning.
5. CDs skipping.
6. Nasal singers.
7. Fake smiles.

6 places I've visited
1. Er...
2. Tokyo
3. Chiba
4. Matsumoto
5. Nagoya
6. Er... (YES I'M PATHETIC!!! I haven't been anywhere, alright?)

5 things I want to do before I die
1. Get married, have a wedding.
2. Meet Peter
3. Be a board member.
4. Cry without trying to stop.
5. Record a song with all my brothers and sisters, Mom and Dad (so many wonderful voices that deserve to be heard!!!)

4 things I'm afraid of
1. Sharks
2. Centipedes
3. Rejection
4. Important people

3 things I do everyday
1. Sing...to the frustration of my fellow home members.
2. Check my e-mail.
3. Listen to music before I go to sleep.

2 things I'm trying not to do right now
1. Burst out into song (in consideration of the people working next to me)
2. Be TOO honest about the inner workings of my sneaky life.

1 person I want to see right now
1. Sunny.

Fewf

Our blog has been suffering from some pressure these past few days.
Now that most of the Kenji-in-the-tutu scare has died down, and
hopefully we don't have sneaky and possibly distantly related people
poking into our blog (NOT THAT I MIND!!! It's just that...well...I'm
using you as an excuse for having not updated anything), I've decided
that now is the time to resume posting.
Truth is, I really haven't had much to post about. I've been busy
witnessing (almost every day, aside from my meager school efforts),
and thinking sentimental thoughts about people who are having
birthdays (Jeesus there are tons of Capricorns!!!) and people who are
leaving our home...and people whose home I may join in the near
future. So I've been full of thoughts, and full of things to do to
push those thoughts onto the backburner. So I've been pretty stacked.
Yes, I like sounding as though I am a busy person. If you want to
tease me, check with my secretary as to my slow hours.

I would like to take the time to mention my brother Mark, also married
to Elaina (which is only among many wonderful things he managed to do
in his lifetime), whose birthday was on January the 8th.
I find that I have taken this fellow quite forgranted over the years
of my short life. He, and I know he knows this already, is probably
the brother whom I get along with the least. Thing is, I just don't
get along with nice, moderate people. I get along with evil extremists
who are trying to take over the earth (and who curse in their sleep.
KIDDING KIDDING!!!). Thus, Mark is just the sort that would rub me the
wrong way with his gallantry. He's always trying to clean stuff and
make me look bad. He's always telling me I haven't done my JJT
properly, and he's always telling on me to my parents for something or
other. Mostly stuff that I'm glad he tells on me for, but that's
beside the point.
Basically, he's a good guy, and he seems to be a good husband (I'm
leaving room there, in case Elaina wants to say something...er) and in
my humble opinion, he's a wonderful father. He's one of those guys
that does these little kind deeds...just little ones. He's sacrificial
and likes to prefer the bigger purpose--kind of like the happiness of
two other people as opposed to his own, which is actually pretty good
perspective. (That can be explained by the trivia fact that Mark is
the only one in the family who enjoys math above all other subjects.)
Anyway. I feel honored to be related to such a wonderful fellow.

Browsing the party section of DQ...

Wreckage and Stever. The guys who spotted it.

There's a vaguely familiar face...!! (Hi! Please don't lynch me for this!)

Translation: When I dance, EVERYBODY laughs. This is the rumoured swan dance!

BUSTED! Cheeeeeeese!

We taste like chicken.

Ahhhh, vacation.
It's 4 in the afternoon and I hadn't eaten since breakfast till Mark brought me some pizza just now.
I think I misjudged the temperature just a speck; mistook heat for spiciness. I was sure there was melted cheese stuck to the roof of my mouth, but upon closer investigation, it's just melted roof-of-mouth.
Who cares, I'm full now, and my annual catharsis (stomach flu) is over and done so I won't be saying howdy to my pizza again today. I'm really thrilled about that. Thank you Jesus for a properly functioning digestive system! Praise you and thank you for every inch of it.
Also, also, also, I'm an aunt all over again! On the unlikely hope that you might see this sometime between the sleepless nights, I love you, Alisa!
In good congratulatory Rider fashion, here's a Far Side just for you, Al:

The Green Goo of Gnob

I need to make the world AWARE of this lethal drink of the seeming-innocent green. Don't let the cute color deceive you, this drink is EVIL (then again, there are some people who think green denotes evil right off the bat. But green is usually a very delightful color.).
First sip and you're hooked on the most unhealthy tasting stuff ever.
They call it Melon Cream Soda. I call it the Green Goo of Gnob. (That's GN as in GNAW. Yeah I had to find a nifty little handle.)
So we go to this place that Mom can't help but call "Sasserea" in her fancy Spanish tongue, even after all of our attempts to over-emphasize the gringo features of the word "Saizeriya", feeling the authentic Italian as pronounced by Mother--filling ourselves with pizza and steaks.
After a bunch of antics whilst waiting for our food and trying to calm Dan into a nice demure restaurant-goer, drinking cappucino (like soup with little spoons), among other exciting things that EVERYBODY does when they go to restaurants, we finish off with a bang with the melon soda.
I'm still feeling kind of a topsy-turvy stomach due to previous flu experiences, so I safely get myself half a cup of green stuff, but then when the bright idea to pose with my glass hits me, I realize that the Saizeriya label doesn't show up without the green behind it, so I get just enough more to reach to the top of the label. (Notice, I was very careful.)
After my private photo shoot with my glass (less than wonderful photos conglomorated (MOM'S WORD! MOM'S WORD!) to the left), I emerge victorious with these fine photos.

Imagine all the people...

As my tentacles begin to stretch o'er and o'er the world, I realize some very interesting things about this culture of ours.
I like smiles. I really do. I think the deepest form of expression is the smile. Some people say silence, some people say touch. I think smiles tell everything: reluctance, sadness, fear, confusion, adoration, relief...
Also, is there any such thing as international humor? (Elaina says "Charlie Chaplin?" Why, because he doesn't speak a language?) Because, with me and stuff, I often come across foreigners with whom I'm trying to boast some sort of fun, when they'll go on and misunderstand a joke of mine, or try to joke about something that I just don't get. The more you try to understand each other, the more awkward it gets.
As always, the question is not complete without the curved-edges of Elaina's perspective: "Is it really real or is it just a fear that you think you might be misunderstood by them because they live all the way across the world?"
Um, no...I think it's pretty real.
I used to live with this fellow who never really fit into my country because his sense of humor was different. To get into details, it was simpler, more innocent, expectant, kind of childish. Maybe it was symbolic of his nature; he was a real helpful guy, but he did have a tendency to get kind of down because no one seemed to think very highly of him.
That's regretable--I wonder if we put too much stock in humor. I think I do. I think I label people by how witty they are; intellectually humorous. Maybe it makes me feel smart to understand their jokes. Maybe it makes me feel accepted or acknowledged, that they're trying to make me laugh.
And then I think some people (like me) rely more on inside jokes. Maybe they have no real sense of humor, their only fun is derived from rehashing places, people, things. Maybe they're the kind of people that burn up the stuff around them as opposed to burning outward from inside.
In any case, if you ever meet me, and I ever go off on some kind of joke that is obviously a joke but that you just don't understand, just smile, because I like that.

Perpetual Motion

When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands buttered side down.

Therefore, if a slice of toast is strapped to a cat's back, buttered side up, and the animal is then dropped, the two opposing forces will cause it to hover, spinning inches above the ground.

If enough toast-laden felines were used, they could form the basis of a high-speed monorail system.

I've been thinking about this cat/toast business for a while. In the buttered toast case, it's the butter that causes it to land buttered side down - it doesn't have to be toast, the theory works equally well with Jacob's crackers. So to save money you just miss out the toast - and butter the cats.

Also, should there be an imbalance between the effects of cat and butter, there are other substances that have a stronger affinity for carpet. Probability of carpet impact is determined by the following simple formula:
p = s * t(t)/t?
where p is the probability of carpet impact, s is the "stain" value of the toast-covering substance - an indicator of the effectiveness of the toast topping in permanently staining the carpet.

Chicken Tikka Masala, for example, has a very high s value, while the s value of water is zero.

t? and t(t) indicate the tone of the carpet and topping - the value of p being strongly related to the relationship between the colour of the carpet and topping, as even chicken tikka masala won't cause a permanent and obvious stain if the carpet is the same colour.

So it is obvious that the probability of carpet impact is maximised if you use chicken tikka masala and a white carpet - in fact this combination gives a p value of one, which is the same as the probability of a cat landing on its feet.

Therefore a cat with chicken tikka masala on its back will be certain to hover in mid air, while there could be problems with buttered toast as the toast may fall off the cat, causing a terrible monorail crash resulting in nauseating images of members of the royal family visiting accident victims in hospital, and politicians saying it wouldn't have happened if their party was in power as there would have been more investment in cat-toast glue research.

Therefore it is in the interests not only of public safety but also public sanity if the buttered toast on cats idea is scrapped, to be replaced by a monorail powered by cats smeared with chicken tikka masala floating above a rail made from white shag pile carpet

(No, I didn't write this...Happy New Year, though. Spent my New Year's Day with a friendly flu and his friends, Gurgle, Spew, and Vom. Hope you all fared better than I. At least we DON'T HAVE MUMPS!! Yes, it's an urban myth, people, please get over it. Grrrrr...)