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Saturday, July 30, 2005

MIGUEL and other men

We had a barbeque today. Not a big one. Just one for one of our kings (whose birthday is tomorrow; we sang happy birthday for him and phil and yosh made him a cake) and one of our Active Members who came over. Basically the barbeque was just for the home.
I almost spilled juice on the Mister's lap. ALMOST. It went all over the table and everywhere except on him. Thank GOD. I swear I was doki doki for the longest time.
Anyway, it's really hot.
Dan's supposed to be uploading the pictures from the last two shows. So I hope he gets to it quick.
Also, my clothing predicament is done. Yosh is going to fix a shirt for me. It's nice, but it was ripped. So I have something to wear to sing at all our shows other than my dancing T-shirt. And I finally have something to wear to the livehouse. Sheesh. You know how you tell yourself something is "not a big deal, not a big deal"...but you know that if it remains "a deal" any longer it will soon become a big deal? Yeah, that's kind of like my situation with what to wear at the livehouse was. Those of you who know me know that I've never been very vain...

My Man Of The Day:
Elaina beat me to the first person of the day. I wanted Uncle Andrew for my own someday. What a thief.
But it's all good, because I've got this total scintillating fellow whom I am making my MAN OF THE DAY. Yowzers.
Miguel, I will let you know, back in the day, was HOT STUFF. I've been obsessing about him for these past few days. I know he has a wife and kids (and Elaina's told me that it's very probable he or someone that knows him may read this and think me daft, yikes).
I couldn't, for the life of me, find out where to swindle a photo of this hot young man (one that wasn't pixelated and browned from age, anyway), so I grabbed my faithful New Worlds to Discover and took a lot of pictures of him. Reek was content to watch me from behind, and he thought I was really strange. Elaina said that my tendencies were bordering on psycho.
I just needed something to do with my time.
So here, for you all, is the photo I came up with. MIGUEL in his finest moment of sincerity.

But agree with me, he is as sincere as sincere is SIZZLING.
Oh, and notice Elaina's reflection on the TV. She looks very tired.

My Song Of the Day:
Initially it was an evil system John Mayer song, the only reason being because it was running through my head ALL friggin day and I had to work so hard to keep from singing it aloud. But now, the song running through my head is,
"Jiyuu no Hashi", otherwise known as "Aiki's song". Great song. Great song.
We're going to proclaim, from now on, in our posts, the following special things:
1. Our song of the day 2. Our person of the day
Being as we don't always post every single day, there may be an unfortunate day or two that goes by without a person or a song.
Also, I may or may not explain "why" either of them.
Florence doubtless will, because she's speedy with her fingers. Gross.

For the record:
My song of the day is


My person of the day is:

Uncle Andrew. (the happy man to the left)

For the record, the song and the person of the day are unrelated.

This post was transcribed by Florence of the speedy fingers. Elaina is resting her brain after the last battle.

Friday, July 29, 2005


Like mother

Like daughter

Now for something I like to call, "Blatant Showing Off of Physical Deformity"
I'm constantly trying to show people this nifty little trick of mine, but they seem to get all nauseous and stuff. What's up with that?

TADA!!! You can run but you can't hide!!!!

Things that irk me

When someone says "Do you think you can pass the somethingorother, Florence?"
And I reach to grab it and someone is there before me.
What are you trying to do? Steal my stars???
Shucksdarn you!

When someone is sucking up to someone and says "Yeah, that's cool!"
And then hears from 450 other people that it's not so cool...
And then says "Yeah, I didn't think so either, it was all his idea."
DAMMNNN nothing gets me more.

When someone says
"You don't act your age."
What age do I act, 35?
Perhaps all the other 15 year olds aren't acting THEIR AGE.

When someone tells me "It's all okay, it's all good, it's fine, I really wasn't affected,"
And then goes and tells other people that they hated what I did.
Gee, what a learning experience.

When people don't tell me things to my face,
Tell them to someone else instead
Who confronts me with, "Quite a few people have been telling me this lately,"
Am I really that hard to talk to?

When someone thinks they're so witty by being wicked.
Generally, it's not difficult to be an ass. It doesn't take talent to be "mean" or "annoying".
The talentless are the ones who default to embittered and asinine.
It's not a "victory" when you make someone angry.

When someone compliments me by dissing someone I love.
I.E. "You're a MUCH better dancer than HER!"
Think, vacant-head.

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Anime Mystery

Breaking myself in...
Something I wrote. I sat down to write the lyrics to a witnessing song about a gakusei girl playing with her phone...
This is something that came instead.

Her skirt,
A placid curtain
Close the doors on memories
Torture, but don't kill,
The secrets

Anime lips
Form a crescent remark
On taste.
Mingle perspiration and

Her phone
A material mindset
More fingers for her hand
Less to recall
Less to remorse

Textured folds
Hair that rides the sunlight
A wary backdrop for your face
A vacant expression
Silent eyes
Home alone
Where the doorbell doesn't ring.

Anxious fingers
Stroke satire skin
Seventeen years old
And aging
So I am as filthy on the outside
As on the in.

We watch her,
Faded description
As cliche
As the sun and moon
We have answers
And wings

Guarded spirit
Nature rests on frail shoulders
Fantasies flicker
Behind rusted hinges
And the doorbell doesn't ring.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Still thinking...

I was surfing some new blogs, and I took a short cut off of my blog circuit that eventually took me round and round into places I've never been before. I felt like a journeyman, stopping here for water, stopping there for lodging. I got a sneaky peak into the minds of strange men and women.
I wondered what it would be like to have a blog where I was alone with my thoughts and a huge community of fans who couldn't tell me from Adam, but who were in love with my thoughts.
This is TOTAL narcissism, I'm warning you.
Okay, so, you know, being like one of those bloggers who is anonymous and melodramatic. Who splats mediocre thoughts and forms breathtaking art. Where it is permissible to not be yourself. Where feelings are more important than events. Poetry, prose, and personality-disorders. Melodrama, memories, and men (grin).
I'm so glad I've got better things to do in life. No disrespect to those people who do have blogs of the sort, they really are an entertaining read (if only I had the time and the self-discipline to remain true to a blog circuit of strangers), but I cannot see myself as one of them.
I thrive off of people. I enjoy the things people say to me because they know me, not because they're trying to display wit or perceptive wisdom in a comment on PMS. I appreciate what my friends have to say, whether it's good, bad, just plain conversation, or pure lunacy.
I can imagine being one of those anonymous bloggers--satisfied during the day with my 1,000+ readers, my mention on "CNN blogs of the week!" and my comments that leak adoration and respect--and then going to bed at night wondering what it's all for. Realizing that I'm wasting so much time spilling my thoughts to a community of detatched strangers who wouldn't care less about me if I were beside them--tangible flesh and blood, emotions and needs that make them responsible for who I am and how I feel.
Hmmm...I'm still thinking.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Just thinking

I don't get it.
I did some thinking this morning. And I was thinking about the entertainment industry. The audience (viewer/reader proletariat) are slowly becoming mushy-brained idiots, who pride themselves in their rehearsed cynicysm, and enjoy run-on sentences in description of pathetic theories because they make them feel intelligent.
But then how does one explain how entertainment has grown increasingly patronizing? Bulging men fake-boxing eachother whilst meagerly clad women pretend to cling to them for protection. Dumb sci-fis about bisexual aliens that race across the screen in impressive vehicles, and jump from building to building in order to save the beautiful girlfriend from the cat-fighting sorceress in the tight wet-suit...?
How did they do it? How did the big smarties of the entertainment industry manage to manipulate their impressionable audience into thinking that the two are detatched? Can they feel intelligent by listening to meaningless terminology, and have their intelligence remain intact whilst they swallow an age of the most patronizing entertainment the world has ever seen? Geniuses, boy oh boy.
Anyway, I don't get it.

PS: Some people disagree with me on the patronizing part. I know quite a few people who think that entertainment has entered its golden age; what with all the blockbusters, the criteria of box-office success going up and up...
But I can't help but feel all taken in about it.

Monday, July 25, 2005

Song of My Day

I've had this ringing in my head for a week, and I've been feeling an insistent urge to share it with someone.
This song is a tiny, rare, glistening jewel. I wish I could take the credit for finding this song, but I cannot. My brother Masa found it linked to on AudioLinkup, and sent it to Steve who put it on the desktop, where I found it and fell in love. Deep deep deep deeply in love. I must have listened to it at least 5o times since then.
I strongly recommend that you listen to this all the way through. Feel the magic. Let it move you the way it moves me.
Then listen to it again.
Here is the website of the man responsible, where you can find more of the same genius. Ira is his name. A wielder of powerful tunes for Jesus!

Free Night

After many months of watching the older fellows creep out every freenight...
Rick's huge shaggadelic lamp, beer, and boom boxes in arm,
I decided that I would join them out on the beach to chaperone one of their mini-raves.
So they point Rick's groovy light out and it goes all over the rocks and even out to the second row of jacks.
And then they bring an extension cord from the house and plug in the CD player, and turn on trance.
Then they all stand around in the various extremities of inebriation, and trip.
It was fun to watch. I was tripping and laughing...Jesse, Rick and Steve were doing hilarious things.

I woke up this morning with my hair absolutely flumpled and my face looking like it would explode. Yosh says that happens to her when she sleeps in. My face looked super fat. It was scary. And my eyes were like two tiny slits in the middle of a bloated face.
Okay, it wasn't that bad, but it was weird enough for me to stare at my face and try to figure out whether I really was stranger-looking or whether it was just my imagination. So it was a very small morph. But it was enough.
In other news, I figured out how to upload stuff to my yahoo briefcase for everyone to download from. So Elaina gets to upload her favorite song for everybody to listen to. YAY.

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Fowl Words

If you don't know what Fowl Words is, that's cool, but you're kind of missing out.
(That's Fowl Words 1, NOT 2. 2 sucks.)
It's this brain stimulating game that's just too awesome to describe. The fellow who created it is ingenius and deserves to go to heaven even if he's not saved. (huh)
Anyway, I just wanted to share my cool cheat with everybody.
See the screenshot: So there's the first option, second option, and third option: green, yellow, and red. From easier/less points to harder/more points. I always do red.
There are some ignorant folks who have been deterred by the seeming lock on the righthand side of the red image that portends to sneer "You can't clicky me cause I'm only for POWER PLAYERS!!!"
Just push 3 and bypass that. Har har har.
And then go on to get a good score.

My favorite computer games are constantly switching around in order.
1. Tetris
2. Fowl Words
3. Anagrammatic
4. Luxor
In no apparent order.
But they're all awesome. And as far as I know, the top three can all be played on Miniclip.com, which is among our links.
I don't have to patronize you with "Pray and ask the lord...get your word time first..." etc etc. So yeah.
But I have it on good authority that Fowl Words is an edifying game, cause even my Mom plays it. Of course, my Mom and Dad both play Spider Solitaire (sometimes side by side on different computers, which is very cute to me).
It's kind of a typing tutor too, I guess.

Blogger Blabber

Okay, my primary reason for wanting to move back to Blogger is because Blogger is so much more inspirational. I don't know, something about the "Create" template...something about the colors...the fonts...all of it merged together creates this coffee shop of creativity.
Our former blog had employed this infernal stuff called CuteNews, with absolutely no shimmering glory. I really can't put my finger on why, but it didn't coax the fun out of me. It didn't coax the really truly side of Florence out of...Florence.
Therefore, I have returned to the faithful old Blogger and messed with its default template and I must say I am quite pleased with the look. Purple and orange, what a fun combination. I really would've never thought of it before.
Rick says it looks like Jamaica
I say it looks like Taco Bell
And there were other things.
But I think it's alright for the purpose.

I'm also dancing.

Yeah. Today in about five seconds of euphoric, spinning excitement, it was decided that I will dance "Where is the Love" With Mark, Yosh, and Elaina.
Well, for now anyway. I'm learning it. That's what matters.
We had our first practice session this morning, and I just got out of it. I'm psyched. It was only 20 minutes so I barely broke a sweat. I hope practice is longer next time.
But it's all SO MUCH FUN!!!

Saturday, July 23, 2005

Naked people naked people naked people

Naked people everywhere.
This I found by surfing the Harem. I really actually laughed out loud. But there's no way to prove it.
Click here and find the rest of the fabulous photos. Some of them are a little bit shifty though.

In other news, I'll be going out in a few hours or something, with Yosh, Steve, Reek, Nina, and maybe some other people, to a barbeque-ish happening for a bunch of exchange students that are like 16, 17, 18. We plan to gird our loins and really witness to them. Like super hard on witness. Yes.

Steve asked an interesting question this morning. When we were all thinking about things to come, he said,
"How do you witness in English?"

I'm really wondering.

Oh Joyous Tidings

Isn't it lovely...
When you're chatting with someone, and you say something quite funny (if I may say so myself)...
And you watch
Magically appear across your screen.
And then you sit back and imagine...
A bird-like face, solemn and statuesque, really rather frighteningly sober, just staring there, really unamused. Just typing.
That is REALLY funny to me. I live for mental pictures like this.

PS: Elaina thinks it's harder to imagine them ACTUALLY laughing. That's an interesting thought. It's sad that we don't have more faith in people.

Friday, July 22, 2005


Have you hunkered down, set your messenger of choice to "appear offline" and waited for a particular person to spring up?
Have you realized they're probably lurking there too, invisible, like you?
Figures, don't it?

Crooked all Over Again

WE have a new site.
Out of the ashes of Crooked the Vegetable Filled First arises this purple, orange, sunny, spectacular wonder.
It was a labor of love. Florence supplied the labor. And I supplied the love. Righto.
I hope everyone knows how much we enjoy comments.
It's a beautiful day.

Snippetty Snip

After many tears and toil on the part of me, and many opinionated gags on the part of Elaina, we have finally up and nailed together this new site, which we will egotistically call The Crooked version 2.0: thecrooked.uni.cc
As you can see, we are faithful to our extensions.

I herewith announce my wholehearted return to the bloggosphere.

Read our posts, visit our links, and leave many comments. We love you.

Slithery Test Post

Today, I made out with Sean Connery.
I'm not kidding. He kissed like a reptile, and his tongue was very slimy. I almost recoiled.
In other news, I'm going to be buying new panties today, so keep yourself updated. I'll take pictures and post them on my blog for the whole wide INDIFFERENT and CRUMMY world to view. Perhaps some bored individual will post something asinine and brainless under them like "I like the style, Flo! Why don't you go for fuchsia next time, instead of that bright vermillion that greatly contrasts with the color of your pubic hair?"