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Thursday, November 29, 2007


My sweetest songs
Most touching poems
Deepest thoughts
Rarest tears
Truest emotions
Come when I'm with you.

My most love-filled day
Embracing those around me
Praying for the disheartened
Kissing the lovelorn
Melting into others' lives
Begin when I leave your side.

I am saturated with light.
I am calmed by your warmth.
I am loved completely.
Every part of me is satisfied,
When I'm with you.

When we part
The glow remains
The moths are attracted
And light fills their souls
Because I've been with you.

Thank you for being His love
For me
Last night.

--Robert Frank McNair (Micah)

Saturday, November 24, 2007


People afraid to love
Afraid to let go of the corners
And let their clothes
Blow away with the wind
Naked is life's most beautiful form
All of you, as you are

I cannot play music without touching the soul
It goes on forever,
And when I fall in
I touch eternity
That is what you mean to me.
I fell for forever.
I never fell for you alone
But for eternity,
And the pools,
And oceans,
And breezes,
And dreams,
And visions,
The soft rain
A mist in the meadow
And you and I lost forever in love.

Things must pass away
As they always have and always will
But I have touched eternity in you

Afraid to fall into forever?
Afraid to let go of your tiny morsel of now?
Try to keep standing when the worms come to call.
Come with me.
Let's come together, and never never return.
--R. F. McNair

Thursday, November 22, 2007

On Christmas

Christmas looks like it's going to be busy again next year. TTL for my life; I can always look forward to busy times doing things that I love to do.
For a couple of days early December I get to go to Shiz with Mom and Dad (and maybe Steve) to help with Christmas parties and follow up on all our sheep. Definitely the highlight of Christmas--you can't beat the Christmassy-ness of Christmas at Shiz.

I've still got a ways to go in touching up the kids' Christmas show. Their costumes are half acquired, and I just recently heard from one of our sheep that she wants her daughter to participate, so we might have to shuffle some things around and start from the beginning. But I love doing this, and I love teaching kids. I love watching them get inspired about doing something that I loved doing as a kid. Hopefully we'll have more shows than we did last year. The kids are all psyched up about it. They specifically asked if they could "dance" this year; some more "difficult" dances, they said. I doubt that what I came up with was difficult, but they seem to be challenged enough. They're so happy with the dances that so far they haven't complained about being made to sing "You Are God's Child" together (which is just my FAVORITE song for kids to sing at shows. The best memories, man), which is something they actually requested not to have to do, since the two oldest boys' voices are changing. I gave 'em a rock'em sock'em speech about how "singing is not something that you can do only when you feel like it and only when your voice is in peak condition--it's something that you have to do if you have a heart for the sheep, and that's something that I know you have all year every year, and so I know you'll sing this song." I even told them terrible stories about singing with a sore throat and having people look at me like I was the worst singer they had ever heard in their lives. If anything, at least I made my life sound so terrible and fraught with embarrassment that they knew they could never outdo me and had better not argue.

I'm going to be singing a few shows with KB again this year, maybe not as many as last year, maybe more. In any case, that's another something that I just love doing, and I don't mind at all getting on trains and hopping on over there as often as I possibly can. I also get to go and see a freshly Americanized Abner at the school for a few days, to fire up the good Yuletide festivities. Hurrah!

I made a series of newsletters and brochures with pictures and descriptions of our work layed out nicely so that the kids (and teens) can get out and do some Christmas witnessing. I got Christmas hats for the kids and hopefully I'll have time to make donation boxes tonight. We want to be able to get people to help sponsor the distribution of free "Garden" books when we go to the Children's hospital this year.

The kids are going to perform in the Children's hospital lobby, and then the clowns (Mike and I, and maybe Jo and someone else) are going to go to all the wards and make balloons, talk with the kids, and give them packages of presents with a book inside. We hope to be able to go to another hospital in Chiba and take our "Clown therapy" program there, but we don't know yet. I hope we're not trying to overextend ourselves.

I just saw the first copy of the Garden book that came into my hands and PedTL that it looks as nice as it does. Through it all, a month or two of layout and hectic passing back and forth with all of the strange problems that Satan dreamed up, it came out not looking half bad.

And PC work! Hallelujah! I'm so glad that I have Kazue now to do most of the work. It's amazing how she loves doing the work that I hate and hates doing the work that I love. Definitely wood for the praise time fire.

I've also got to cram in some quick studying here and there so that I can take the GED in Jan/Feb. I'm quite disgusted with myself that I put it off for so long, but it will be done!!! It is just another hurdle to jump, another dragon to slay, all in a day's work.

All that to say, I tried to write something up that wouldn't be just another brief, cryptic, and slightly disturbing monologue about my life, and this is what I ended up with--a long FYI about my current escapades in service for the Lord. Heh.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Six feet small

So I'm sitting here.
A very strange song just began playing on my MP3 player and took me aback. What is this?
My room is quite clean now. That makes me happy.
I haven't updated my blog in a while.
I've got cookies from the wedding sitting, three on top of each other, like someone squashed all the individual parts of a snowman and put him back together again, in front of me.
Oh no. I just looked at my to-do list and realized that only half of them are done. PTL the rest are fairly easy.
I miss. I miss. (This is what I say to Manami when I don't quite know who it is that I miss and am wanting her to figure it out for me.)
My stand full of pens just decided to up and fall all over the floor.
I really like country music.
I just dug a pen out from the other end of my bed. These pens have legs.
I hope Steve retrieved our Kando Bando tracks.

I wish I were interesting enough to warrant a blog.
Interestingly enough, the most uninteresting thing about me is that I have a blog.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

I miss Steve

I tried to write a song today.
All that kept running through my head was


I am so useless without the Lord. Amen.

My most recent favorite quote (simple and lambasted enough for me to understand)
"You have the spirit of a warrior! Let Me repeat that: You have the spirit of a warrior!"

Monday, November 05, 2007

Damn Straight!!!

Gabe came over the other night and we somehow started talking about this.
Windy was right, Gabe. There's a part where he does "broken" too.

Small Painful Things

I had a series of small heart-attacks yesterday.
My MP3 player got washed in the laundry (by my sweet roommate who snatched the jacket hanging off the end of my bed, thinking she would do me a favor) and came out with loads of water behind the screen that would bubble every time I turned it up or down. It was very exciting.
Dad taped it to the porch outside and then spent like an hour drying it with a hair dryer, and when when we turned it back on the Lord decided to pull a fast one on us and it started working again!!!
Only...to stop working several minutes later.
Thankfully I have a guarantee! (All that's left is to find it)
Thus concludes the most insignificant blog post ever.