What!?!

Hey peeps. I'm at the HCS now. Nekkid as a baby in the brain and ready to tackle the elephant.
Click the image to follow along.

Life is nothing like we plan it to be

Things are nuts. Jesus knows I need to be busy right now. Thank you Jesus, for the things that remind us that there is ALWAYS the bigger picture to throw our shrivelled hearts into.
Oh dear God, thank you SO much for keeping the curtains open to the outside. This mind can only take so much mustiness.
Stay tuned.

A Paper For Your Wall

A little hole that I dug to store custom wallpapers in. Sort of for myself, also for anybody else who might glean small amounts of happiness from having an inspiring (or just sort of interesting) wallpaper on their desktop.
I am tired, but I love you lots.

Confessions for no one

Apparently it's very important for me to list these 6 "confessions". Since Hoan is going to be coming to Japan soon, I feel like it would be in my best interests to stay on her good side. Unless, of course, she's nothing but goodness on all sides, in which case this would've been wasted time...
But I'm not taking my chances.

Confession 1: I have a massive desire to witness--so massive that I wonder how Jesus is going to keep me in a service home.
Confession 2: I fear I may be addicted to Tetris. And I'm not really joking. I'm not capable of sitting at a computer and watching a video or chatting with a friend without wanting to play tetris in a side window. I mean, if I'm watching with a bunch of other people, it's another story, but if i'm alone...I'll always get the urge.
Confession 3: When I just turned 16, my best friend and I got a series of e-mails from an anonymous person who opened an e-mail box for the purpose of writing really really hateful stuff about me. I, to this day, don't understand what I could've done to anyone to make them believe that I was such a disgusting person, but I still think about some of the things he said and wonder whether one day I'll find out that it was all true.
Confession 4: There are all sorts of strange things wrong with my body. One shoulder is about an inch lower than the other, my ankles connect to my feet on the inside instead of the middle (which makes my legs slant in unless I'm wearing sturdy shoes), my knees can lock backwards, and I have a retarded skin condition that is exacerbated by the use of water. Why am I such a Hellen Keller?
Confession 5: I am hugely handicapped at picking up any kind of musical instrument. Any kind of musical concept, really. Maybe it's the same problem I have with Math.
Confession 6: I've been in love with more people than I'll ever admit.

A post for the information-inclined

My blog is very bent toward members of "the Family International" isn't it. It's been getting increasingly so these last couple of months. You must understand, friends, that the majority of my time IS, in fact, spent, as a member of the Family. I find that I can't really slip in and out of it like a...garment (18th century Heaven's Library word). However, as nut-nuts as some of these blog posts may sound, the weird verbiage and all, I am as ordinary a retard as one would find in any old ordinary store for retards, and I don't talk like an ostrich ALL the time. Be appeased, relatives of mine, who I am just POSITIVE read my blog and hesitate to comment because...of how...little there is to...comment on. I understand. In the future I will post recipes or pictures of my wood-whittlings.
Gosh. I actually would like to try whittling wood. (And no, would was not italicized because it is a homonym of wood. I'm not THAT retarded.)

Things I've been up to:

>>Rehauling the Activate Office. We're having an employee/boss changeover (yes, the two of us), and things have become quite exciting. Now I'm getting to discuss my idiosyncrasies about scheduling and time-management, which is a topic that I am increasingly inspired about.
>>Sitting and thinking about exciting little (and not so little ) musical and witnessing projects that I may be involved in in the future.
>>Taking care of lots of children because their parents have gone to an Education Seminar.
>>Wrangling "Twitter" into my sidebar.
>>Trying to build websites / Building websites
>>Getting over a series of bad earaches (yelling at people to speak louder)
>>Washing laundry. Speaking of which, I fear that I have become obsessed with nice-smelling clothes. The Downy was one thing, but I spent a good chunk of last night inventing various soap packages to tuck in with my clothes. I've also decided that, rather than letting the Downy smell escape into the polluted Chiba air, I prefer to hang my clothes in my room to keep the sweet scent with me a little longer. Am I not nuts? (The stupidest thing about all of this is, if you saw me and gave me a hug, you probably wouldn't notice that my clothes smelled anything different at all. Jesus, it breaks my heart!!!)
>>Eating mikans!!
>>Etcetera. (Okay, small plea to the people who pronounce this word "eck-setera" ...you...should...not...do it...anymore.)

The Powers of Love

(Michelle and Layla Fighting over a fluffy purple pen of Florence's.)
Michelle: Did you know, Layla, that pen really actually has no magical powers? It's not very good for much. Please give it to me.
Layla: But I don't NEED powers. So it's okay, I will keep it.
Michelle: Oh, but...actually it does have lots of powers. And I need powers because I don't have powers. So please can I have it, please Layla? (Please spoken in the sort of tone that doesn't really denote "please" but something more like, "I have said please, and PLEASE is the magic word, and if you don't give it to me, Florence will MAKE YOU because I have said PLEASE and that is the LAST time I will say it!!")
Layla: Oh. You don't have powers? That's too bad, Michelle. Jesus gave me lots of powers. Jesus gave me the powers to go witnessing, and everywhere I go, I want to witness!
Michelle: Yes, actually something like that happened to me too. Jesus gave powers to my doll, and the doll gave the powers to me.
Layla: Well what kind of powers do you have?
Michelle: Um. The powers of the keys.
Layla: HA! Well I also have the powers of LOVE.
Michelle: Uh...yes, Layla. I have those too. And so does Florence. EVERYONE has the powers of love.
Layla: Yes, but I have more powers. I have all the powers in Heaven AND in Earth.
Michelle: Okay, that's just stupid, Layla. That's just stupid because you can't have ALL the powers. My Mommy and Daddy and Grandpa and Auntie Florence and Uncle Dan have powers too, okay!!
Layla (a little perplexed): Yes...that's right...but...I have MOST of them.
Michelle: Layla. You're just silly. Please let me hold the pen just for a few minutes.
Layla: Okay.
(I think someone's going to have to explain that whole concept to Layla soon because she seems very sad as though she has somehow lost the power that she thought she had.)

An aimless ramble on time and the internets

A recurring issue in our Home Councils these days is internet use. Not that we have any serious internet-addicts in our home, but we're just etching out our collective home standard since we're a relatively new team. So because of all this discussion I started thinking about ways to filter my internet use through a serious system that I can actually schedule, log, and get a grip on.
I usually just sort of write most of my internet use off to the fact that I use the computer for most things that I do. I leave myself signed in all day because of the various people that are trying to get in contact with me (or that I'm trying to get in contact with) for work reasons. Also, a lot of the communication and delegating that I do in the Office is very intertwined with the internet. I use the internet for research for lay-out and music ideas and reference material...
Thank you Jesus for the Internet. Sigh.
So basically, I started doing the RSS feeds and finding ways for the internet to come to ME rather than me going to IT when there's something it wants me to see. So now I get my e-mails, task reminders, viagra adverts, and blog posts, all to the same place. I can mix business with pleasure!!
I've begun to take little notes in the margins of my planner (next to exercise, prayer vigil, prophecy time, and room cleaning check boxes) of how many minutes I spend recreationally using the Internet. The difficult thing about this method of tallying is that sometimes I am doing an aim-filled thing and an aim-less thing at the same time--like chatting in one window and writing messages in another. I have decided to count these minutes as half minutes. (So when I am chatting with you, feel free to consider me half a person.)
To keep a good and fair perspective, I hope that one day I can also tally all the minutes of good progress-oriented things that I do. Like, why do we always go to such lengths to try to figure out the minutes we're wasting, and no one bothers keeping track of the minutes we're seriously investing? THINK ABOUT IT. YOU probably do this. Sort of equivalent to writing a to-do list and throwing away the ones that are completed. What is this interesting way of thinking?
Once again, I have gone and created more work for myself.