Thank You Jesus

I exploded today, and I ran outside to escape the fall-out.
I am a typical teenager with typically ballistic emotions and opinions. Hello.
But today, so many things went wrong.
I realized that I know so little. Little threads of reasoning end somewhere, and now the strands are dangling, and my life is only half sewn. I feel helpless, six feet down and ropeless.

The sky is brewing ink and smoke. The sand is wet, mingled with the spray of the waves and the recent rain. The house is just over the seawall.

I sit on the rocks and lean against the cement wall, looking out at the ocean. I don't want to analyze my thoughts, I'm tired of philosophizing about life; I'm tired of making educated excuses for myself.

Sea, wash over me.

I look up on the seawall. One of our cats climbed the seawall and meanders aimlessly thereon, like a white ghost against the the spines of pine trees. He doesn't seem to see me, as they never do, and sits himself just to my right, haunched over, barely moving, like an egyptian statue.
A bird moves to my left. He's strangely near my hand. I don't think I've ever had a sparrow so close to me before. He doesn't seem to see me either. But he hops on two legs in full circle, and seems to be chasing his own tail.
I shift my body to protect him from the beady gaze of the cat.
"Don't move, fella. He can't see you unless you move away."

I hate to patronize you with the obvious parallel, but it strikes me like a bolt of lightning.
Stay inside the Lord's shadow, and I'll be alright. It doesn't matter what lies beyond what I can see...
I'll be alright.

Yes, Lord.