I wonder things sometimes.
Like, how, in Australia,
the Drover talks about your quality of life is about your "story." But then I wonder about these people who don't have much to say for themselves in earthly terms, the little people who have worked at sweet little jobs in faithfully for years and years. They don't have much of a "story." Is that kind of thing supposed to be inspiring for them?
This has been the question of my life lately. Does the Lord make people suited for "little" jobs and "big" jobs from birth? Does the Lord predestine some people to always be striving for better, bigger, more, exciting-er, and some people to be content with the mundane, the humble, the lowly? Are there some people for whom it would be against the Lord's will to stay in a "humble" situation, doing little things faithfully? Are there some people in whom the Lord has put that desire to burn and start projects and go places and be amazing--people who are SUPPOSED to be that way? Are we qualified to call those people "proud," or say that they aren't great disciples if they can't stand being in a small home cleaning toilets? These people who can't stand smilingly letting other people make decisions for them, who can't be content doing the same things every day waiting patiently for other people to catch the vision, and who don't believe that a ministry of standing-in for childcare slots and home laundry is for them--does the Lord design some people and intend for them to be that way?
THIS is something that, as I am interested in expanding my small mind lately, I have noticed as a sort of recurring theme in Family culture. Apparently, we're supposed to (or at least a lot of people that I've met or lived with had this idea) put big people in their place. We're supposed to help the people with "big" ministries (like musicians and witnessers) to maintain their humility with an even balance of toilet cleaning jobs and baby-diaper changing. I remember someone explaining this concept to a sheep who came over to the house after one of our Kando Bando shows: "We keep our musicians humble by rotating them on jobs like changing diapers when they get home!"
I know that some ministries do seem to be more fun, and it would be nice if everything could be fair for everyone in a home, when it comes to having fun. I know that sometimes it makes sense to have the people who are actively involved in the more "fun" ministries, sometimes stay home and clean the toilets so that the people who are doing the less "fun" ministries or who maybe deserve some recognition can go out on a fun grape-picking excursion.
But I don't know if I agree with trying to limit those people from carrying out their visions and the things that they've put a lot of blood, sweat and tears into planning. These are people with dreams and ambition, and I wonder if we're forgetting to reward that?
I also don't know if I agree with trying to have "compassion" on people by telling them that their ministry is "less fun," "more mundane," and "not rewarding in and of itself." Aren't all ministries fun, exciting, and inspiriting, potentially? Isn't that supposed to be a matter of the heart? A mix of work-ethic and GUTS?
On one hand, it sounds word-based, all this "balance" talk. On the other hand, it doesn't really sound like a recipe for success.
But what is success? For years we were taught that success in the Lord's eyes is different from success in the world's eyes. We know that's still true, but now we're being taught that the Lord's idea of success is broader than we thought. It also includes successful witnessing ministries and incentives, setting up programs and even businesses to further and faciliate the mission, getting personally organized and trained well enough that you can be a professional in your field.
It gets me thinking: It's mighty hard to keep the vision for becoming a professional in your field, setting up a successful business venture, pioneering new methods of witnessing, and stepping outside the box to explore crazy new ministries, if we have this mindset of keeping big people in a small place.
There is still a lot of truth in the Word about being balanced, being moderate, being dilligent in the things that we must do as well as carrying out the things that the Lord has given us a fervent burden for. But then there's a lot in the Word about how we need to sometimes be willing to throw our desire for a perfect balance out of the window and not be afraid of some wildfire. Isn't that the premise for why we aren't doing FD home reviews these days, because the Lord knows that some areas might drag when other areas take off? Isn't the Lord asking us to plan big, inspire ambition, raise visionaries, cultivate dreams?
So it makes me wonder. Are we really supposed to be categorizing things as "big" and "small"? Can we maybe imagine that all things are "big" in Jesus's eyes? Can we be so loving and appreciative of everyone and whatever they do for the Family that the people who are becoming professionals at taking care of babies feel just as encouraged and validated as the people who are going out every day pioneering a new busking ministry, and planning for it and praying about it at night, or the people who have spent a lot of years hoping for an opportunity to enact a burden to support the home through an ellaborate CTP ministry?
I wonder if this is the way to breed more enthusiasm and inspiration--more entrepeneurs and visionaries--especially amongst the young people?
I wonder this, because I'm wondering myself what I want from the Family. I can say with conviction that yes, I would stay in the Lord's service even if it meant the Lord asked me to stay home with the kids so the witnessers could go out, and cook and clean to support a bunch of people working on a video ministry, as long as I personally felt the Lord's call to do that, and I was satisfied that I wasn't doing it just because I was too lazy to get up and start something and carry out the dreams the Lord gave me. And I'm happy that I can say that--I hope most people can say that, because I believe the Lord can't use us very much if we aren't at least willing
to do anything for Him. But at the same time, I believe He doesn't give people talents and visions and dreams that He doesn't intend them to eventually carry out. He did not give me 10 little talent coins and expect me to come back to Him with 1. If He made me someone with a burning desire to find a project and dig into it, I know He intends to give me a project. I feel it. I feel that as one of the ways that the Lord is leading me. It's one of the only aspects of His will for me that I'm QUITE sure about right now.
And as surely as I feel this burden quite strongly, I'm QUITE sure that there are people whom the Lord has given the same strong desire for a ministry like raising children, or a beautiful anointing to manage a home and take care of the people in it. I don't believe those people are the stragglers, the ones who got "left behind," and I don't think we should see them that way. We've all got "big" jobs, don't we? I sometimes worry that when those people act as though they're being treated unfairly, it's they themselves who are stigmatizing themselves as the stragglers, whereas they could be professionals, they could be maximizers, they could be chefs and certified teachers. They could be amazing, just like any of us could be amazing.
So I kind of tend to think that Jesus makes everyone with the ability to be amazing. Being amazing is definitely not about how many people know your name at the end of it all, but how well you obeyed that burning and definite vision and desire that the Lord put in your heart. I believe all of it requires sacrifice, all of it requires guts, and all of it requires staying up late at night to figure your stuff out, and missing freetime to get better at what you do. It's all amazing, and it all takes the same amazing drive to get at what is ultimately the same amazing goal.
So I wonder. How amazing
am I? How amazing