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Saturday, September 26, 2009

Desperation #1

There's a lot in the Word, (Look up "Desperate for Jesus" if you want a quick example) about the importance of being desperate--seekers of the spirit. Thing is though, it's easy to read them and only hear the difficult standard of desperation. "Needing Jesus at every hour of every day of every minute, and knowing you can't go a single day without him." I don't know anyone who feels like that.
We were reading this for JT Word yesterday, and I got a little stuck on this part. I didn't really want to read it to the JTs. "Okay kids? Do you get the point? You need to actually feel this way or TRY REALLY HARD to feel this way!!"
I don't know how I managed to miss getting that impression from these descriptions of desperation that are spotted all over the older GNs. I know one of my friends, before he left the Family, told me that was his dillema, that he didn't feel the desperation for Jesus that he knew he was supposed to. I don't remember exactly what I said to him, but I think I tried to explain what desperation for Jesus meant to me.
And after JT Word was done, I wrote out those things for myself.
1. It means knowing Jesus is there and snuggling up with the idea of Him, even if I don't feel warm and cozily tucked into His presence.
2. It means living the way He's asking me to live, serving Him and others (and myself, when I need to), because I KNOW He's real, and it makes a difference to Him.
3. It means sometimes wondering why you feel disconnected, and sometimes making an effort to seek, but not getting hung up on it and not feeling like a failure if things continue as normal.
4. It means opening myself to others, to change, and to the truth, because I find that He cannot be where selfishness, stagnation, and falsehoods are.
5. It means not being okay with the idea of never feeling Jesus in my life.

1 comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

flo... you gave me word time today. thank you.
-merchan

10/03/2009 10:29 AM  

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