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Saturday, June 03, 2006

Where Florence Talks About Veins

I tried to find a picture to accurately describe my experience. All I found on google were these pleasant photos of happy nurses and happy people looking happy to be poked with a giant needle. We all know this is not what it's really like. What's up with this censorship? What do they have to hide?

I have my theories.

So I went in for a blood test yesterday evening. What happened, to make a long and tedious story short, is I was punctured 6 bloody times in my arm, my arm, my hand, my arm, my hand, and my hand. Until FINALLY they drew some of the liquid out of me. Like "oh fewf, I'm alive!"
It's like, hello, I graze my knee and I get this blood stuff that appears no problem. Why, when I'm actually wanting blood, does it not surface? Where does this stuff hide?

According to the officials, I have thin veins that dive deep deep in and jump around when being prodded by a needle. Personally I think my veins have served me no problem thus far, and this is the first time I've had any complaints. TYJ for my veins.
I just have little tell-tale holes everywhere. I hope I don't start leaking.

9 comments:

Anonymous babylove said...

That's really nasty. I've had the test 10+ times since starting childbearing & only once has it been nasty. Somehow the guy missed & had to redo it & then even the 2nd time something wasn't quite right. It was MEGA painful & I ended up with a very huge weird bruised area on a very large chunk of my arm for a few weeks. Sickos. Those guys who sit in at the hospital & just poke people all day are just bent.

6/03/2006 2:54 PM  
Anonymous Mark said...

HAHAHA! Flo, thats just like mom. Too good.

6/03/2006 8:44 PM  
Anonymous Cousin Allen of Mackinac said...

BWHAHAHAHAHA! We do that on purpose! We hear whining paitents all day and take it out on YOU!

During my EMT Specialist class we sat around for days on end practicing puncturing one another. I can feel for you as I have deep, indistinct veins, darkish skin and hairy arms. I averaged 3 unsuccessful pokes to every productive one. I now know what it feels like to be a post-coital porcupine.

If you really want a painless puncture, have them shave your head and go for a scalp vein. Or, have a paramedic do the poke instead of a phlebotomist. A paramedic can do a successful IV in the back of a moving ambulance at 100MPH on a screaming patient. A phlebotomist just has it too easy.

6/04/2006 7:18 AM  
Blogger Florence said...

Allen, hahahaha that suits my theory. You're all evil and enjoy inflicting pain. Heehee.
Puncturing one another? For no reason? That has got to be weird. Isn't there a little embarassing silence sometime where someone pipes up and says "What on earth are we doing?" (Haha)

Yeah I'll find a paramedic and make friends. Thanks for the tip!!!

6/04/2006 11:39 AM  
Blogger Sam-my said...

man, last time i got blood stuff extracted from me, i like passed out.... freaky stuff.

6/05/2006 2:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

must have been quite an experience!

6/05/2006 11:07 PM  
Blogger Florence said...

i told the nurses when i left "thanks for the nice memory."
they probably thought i was being sarcastic. but it really was quite a quaint memory.

6/07/2006 11:24 AM  
Blogger ditzydevil said...

when i was in labor they took 7 things (dont know what theyre called, but theyre like small chapstick shaped cases)of my blood out. and four of them they took during my last hour of contractions. (the worst part)i think i almost punched her.
yeah, them nurses look all sweet untill they pull those needles out and jab your arm in several places to find (that RIGHT lucky vein)

6/07/2006 3:31 PM  
Blogger crazynik said...

at least you didn't have the experience I did invovling flaming fruity men and large needles...that was something not to be forgotten
heh

6/08/2006 12:29 PM  

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