Here! Here's something I can share!

The last few weeks I've been struggling against a big explosion of sinusitis (I don't know if it was actually big, but it was inside my eardrum, so it sounded pretty big). The oddest thing about it this time (and maybe only people like Mark will understand this) is that my ear has popped and drained 3 times in rapid succession without ever regaining its hearing or completely draining. Like, bam bam bam.
When this happens, it means beanie hats and bandages on my ears. Yesterday I shoved all my hair into this hideous pink hat with a fluffy ball atop it, and that got three people to tell me I looked like a cancer patient.
But basically, it's been a series of interesting realizations for me.
Like the other day, when I promised Senor that I would spend 2 hours of undisturbed time with Him, my ear started hurting--and got worse, and more distracting (obviously). Usually when I get a bad earache I go somewhere where people can pray for me, where I can get a Tylenol or two, (where people sympathize when I'm writhing in pain. Heh heh).
But this time, I felt Senor's tug on me. Like a disappointed, pleading sort of tug. Like, "you promised!" You know?
So I told Him that my earache was a little distracting, and I wouldn't be able to concentrate unless I went and got myself some healing, or unless He healed me for me (and for Him, obviously, since He was the one who wanted me to stay).
And then it sort of solidified the idea of flesh versus spirit in my head. Like, why run around and pretend like I CAN make the pain go away, when the Lord's the only one that can, and the Lord's the one that really wants to? Heavy stuff. It's like...you think you understand it when you read it, but then it goes and illustrates itself to you and you understand it in a completely different way. Like, other-dimensional kind of understanding.
All that to say, my ear started slowly started numbing down to a soft gnawing and I was able to complete my marathon with el Senor.

This morning we read AOW pt.7, Parallel Wars. It was real interesting, and it made me think about how I get sick real easily all the time, and how I've been using sinusitis and my weak immunity system as an excuse. Recently, because of how bad it's been, Dad and Mom have been seriously on my back day and night getting me to drink tons of water. Like, "Good morning! Did you drink a liter of water yet?" Of course, even without their nagging, I realize that I need the water in order to flush out my system, not only when I'm sick, but all the time. You remember, El, how much I hate drinking water.
They've also been urging me to drink lots of orange juice with cayenne pepper in it. My problem with this is that I don't like spicy things and can't take so much of it, so it's slow progress. They also make me apple cider vinegar water (at least Mom puts honey in it. Heh, you know Dad's one of those "take a shot and get it over with" kind of guys).
And while we were reading, I kept thinking about the water. I kept thinking about how I'm always doing uro uro at night and never go to sleep on time. How I always wake up at the last minute before devotions because I'm so tired, and miss those wonderful morning minutes. How I exercise real faithfully the month that I feel like it, and slack off when I'm concentrating on other things.

So you can pray for me, my sickness and my fighting to make myself stronger. Or you can tell me about YOUR Parallel war.

PS: The reason this post has no picture, is because it was a toss-up between posting one of those boring diagrams of the ear or a picture of a body going YOISHO. Neither of which sounded too inspiring.

I Hear You

...loud and clear.
This place is not trustworthy. Every time I sit down to write something up, I end up doing a whole lot more backspacing than typing.
I'm reminded of the frosty Narnian forest where Mr.Beaver warned the children to hush, "...even some of the trees are on Her side."
I have a dream of an homely, honest little place, where I can whisper things without having to anticipate implications.
It's the foot, Florence, the blasted foot we started on. The wrong one.
So I've been thinking...
Settings: Permissions: Only People I Choose
Or
Somewhere new and quiet and clean where I can curl up in a ball or lay on my back with my arms out. Safely.
It's looking more and more appealing.

I pose the following to Elaina:

What is it that pains me when I write on this blog? I cannot TRUST it. I cannot unburden into its hands in faith that my burden will not turn around and bludgeon me and bury me. This blog is a shifty place.
For example, this post, even though it's only barely begun as a thought, and hasn't even been thrust into existence yet, already sounds like an angry murmur. It sounds like angsty slashes on clean paper...and spur-of-the-moment holes through body parts. But it's not!!! It's a soft ponder; a tender frustration. <--spoken in best Nero voice
Basically, there's no impetus to writing for any sake but for the sake of writing, on this blog at least. If I don't write to please and I don't write to inform, I write to write. Naturally, I want to write what I feel--the things that rumble inside and make me mad, sad, or glad. But, things being what they are, I wouldn't want to be 1)mad or 2)sad on my blog. Out of consideration for readers, not wanting to confuse anybody, and not wanting to spark any kind of crazy debate, I stay away from some of the things that I would actually want to post most of all. Minus 3)glad. Besides, my gladness is mostly restricted to the one area of my life under "Jesus is Enough". I don't have Fuge highs and lows and twists and turns. Sometimes. But when I'm in the throes of a high, my blog is the last thing I think about anyway.
So what's left?
You know I try...right? You're just waiting for me to fall through the ceiling soon, aren't you?

Tweedle Doodle Dum

Leftover scraps of clay from kids' art project. Good therapy. Started aimlessly; ended when the head was full of happy thoughts, and I felt done. Ended up a present to Ken.

Kami-nendo, colored markers, and black pen.

Tweedle Doodle Dum pt.2

Also made from scraps of kids' art project with no intended end result. Ended up a Christmas card for Amy.

Red origami, black construction paper, black marker.

The feast post

You'll notice I did not post an "I am feasting do not disturb" post. That's because I wanted to RESERVE my special "feast post" for after the feast, when I could post pictures and actually tell you about my feast.
And also because I figured no one would suspect any abnormally prolonged absence, since I'm usually absent anyway.

But here is your feast post:

Feast was, as it always is, wonderful and refreshing. Wish it had been sooner, wish it could be always, etc.
The especially notable and fun fun things would have to be topped by our LJ night. Joanie got the tremendous idea to "make a big tent!!!" in our dining room. I, cynical and realistic, took some persuasion, but finally relented and began hanging up (with tacks and safety pins, cleverly utilized) sheets all around the living room and on the ceiling. Joanie faithfully stood by me and indulged me during those "hold that for me will you" times.
All that to say, it was a wonderfully inspired idea, because it entirely eliminated our living room and created a much more exotic and special hideaway, which actually ended up staying put for the rest of the feast.
On the first day, in the afternoon, Joanie had another of her inspired ideas and managed to get all of us young people out to Saizeriya for a united reading of Foundations of Faith. I tried (in vain) to get everyone to really break their bottles by singing out loud along with Mama, lifting their hands and praising in tongues, and playing a praise time game in the aisle. Dento spirits, man.
I have been glutted with Word. On the last night of the feast our AIP dvds managed to finally arrive with a note apologizing for how late they were. So we got to see some embarrassing footage of Mike and Florence running around. PTL.
Here are some random photos to fill you with wonder: (I have not yet been able to coerce my home members into giving me permission to post pictures of them on my blog. In time, in time.)

My key promise for the new year

Burn and destroy the Enemy's it-can't-be-done lies with the it-can't-be-defeated power of the keys of faith.

What's yours?

the hat

Recently I've been stricken with a series of earaches and consequent ear-drainage. It started out as quite an unpleasant thing, with the initial earache and pain thereof. And now, for the last 4 days, I wear a hat to protect my ears from the maniacal elements that are always beating against them trying to bring them down. (Can you see them? Screaming "Curses!!!")
The coolest thing about said hat is that it's also connected to a scarf. The scarf actually protrudes out of the top of this green-striped hat. The hat was actually a Christmas present to me from Abner HCS (hey I wonder if that'll actually become a part of his name one day. Like Mike D.) who is a sweet boy. See, initially I found it in the HCS dress-up closet and wanted to keep it. But since Steve had recently moved there he claimed first rights and stole it from me. Later I guess he decided it didn't jibe with his refined persona and he handed it down to Abner, who bequeathed it to me under the falsehood that it was a 2nd identical hat. But one whiff of it and the truth was plain. You can't take the smell out of Steve!
Here. Now that I've gotten myself this far into the trivial story, I might as well post a picture of the darned thing.

Supeea Mi Mai Raifu!

The sophistication of Japanese humor is unsurpassed. That's what I love about this culture, man, dorky is cool. No pressure. Can it get any easier?!
I especially love the zoom in shot of the dancing girl's armpit. Also, notice how the robber's handkerchief-of-disguise cleverly conceals...his identifying upper lip. Crafty, these gaijin muggers.
It's hopelessly embedded in my brain. And I've got this itchy itch to stand up and do some chanting aerobics.
Spare me my life!
Spare me my life!
Crafty, these Japanese English-teachers.

the crooked questions

Here's something annoying for you, Flo. I make the questions, you make the answers. Now. Go edit this post. Chop chop.

How would you feel if you grew an extra finger? Angry.

Who was the last person you were mad at? People.

Hello Disciple. How's your etiquette? Hello Disciple! Not so bad.

Latest key promise? "When the spiritual battles are strong, claim the keys of the kingdom, and they will fight valiantly for you and not give up until the victory is won."

Do you eat the skin on top of heated milk? Yes I do!!! I use my two little fingers and I scoop it up, and I tilt my head back and drop it into my mouth, as if it were something luscious and sexy to do.

For the rest of your earth life, you may only listen to fast songs OR slow songs. Dotchi? Slow songs. But you knew that!

Why don't you post poetry anymore? ...That's so like you to thwack me between the eyes with a question like that. #1, I don't write it anymore. #2, people never really liked it when I did. But #1 is probably the most relevant answer. I could post lyrics though. But people wouldn't like that either.

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH ELAINA!!!

see YOUR draft

Seven Question Saturday

...Tucked away till you heal.
I love you, Flo! xxxx