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Saturday, November 08, 2008

A nugget of inspiration.

I am having a moment of quiet sneakiness at my office desk. It is right now 9:49 in the evening, and my freenite, and I am sitting here in the office contemplating finishing off a little bottle of coke that has been resting half-full in my room for about 2 weeks, waiting for me to feel healthy enough that I have enough confidence to saturate my health with unhealthiness once again (the cycle of heaven and hell that we are hurtling through like a tumble in a washing machine).
I have a sneaky feeling that people walking outside in the hallway are looking at me and thinking "God bless Florence, she's still working!" But they are not saying anything, and are only smiling mutely at me. I am smiling mutely back, sometimes with a dumb twinkle in my eye (A function I only use every so often because I am saving charm-electricity). I feel like I am SOOO clever I could jump through the roof, because I am actually NOT working, but sitting here and typing a SUPER dumb post on my blog (which is, truly and shamelessly, one of the most super dumb indulgences in my life, after the coke), which is probably the worst waste of time ever. I am such a conflicted character; whilst I often am actually working here on hardcore work-things at this hour, tonight, I am serenely and guiltlessly typing out a stupid blog post. And while the two activities are about as different as night and day (smart and stupid, good and evil, etc.) I am perfectly satisfied and fulfilled doing both/either.
Actually, there are times that the blog posts do not satisfy me and the work does not satisfy me, but rarely ever both at the same time. I am usually satisfied by something, but my brain is so small that I need to concentrate solely on one thing in order to glean satisfactory amounts of satisfaction from it. So vice-versa things will ever be, but this is life (the cycle of heaven and hell that we are hurtling through like a tumble in a washing machine).

1 comments:

Anonymous Jules said...

This was an awesome post.

It spoke to my heart.

Your metaphors move me.

And I'm a large person and not easily moved.

11/13/2008 4:56 PM  

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