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Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Secrets

Today I decided something. I decided that the absolute best and easiest thing to do for someone who is feeling down in the dumps is to give them the jump-hug.
Now, the jump-hug, even though it has such a clever and complicated-sounding name, is quite easy to do. In fact, I know you'll be shocked to hear this, but I made it up myself. Here is what you must have to prepare:
1 moment of "shall I jump-hug her now?" indecision
1 moment to perform the jump-hug maneuver
2 functional legs (the jump department), and
2 functional arms (the hug department)
HOW functional your legs/arms are is also relative, I suppose, because some people can give a more elaborate jump-hug than others (who are maybe not fortunate enough to be double-jointed like Steve)
It takes time to perfect the jump-hug. Although, not too much time, hopefully, because the effect of the jump hug begins to wear off as you do it. You want to try to hit the nail pretty much on the head the very FIRST time you perform it, because you have the elements of "shock" and "oh how special" on your side.

So basically you sit very quietly and demurely for the moments as you set up your jump-hug. When the target is in a good position (aka, basically unaware of your presence), you begin.
THE JUMP: More like a "sproing", if you can. The jump bears no real explanation. Just sproing and dart at the target.
THE HUG: The hug should be as hug-like as possible. The squishier the better. A good hug is imperative to a good hug-jump (second only to a good jump).
The most effective way to exeunt a jump-hug and leave everyone with tingly "wow!" thoughts, is to abruptly exit, as I will do now.

7 comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

lol

4/02/2008 11:06 AM  
Blogger Jesse Sou Pritchard said...

Wow. That last part Rhymed. :)

4/02/2008 3:04 PM  
Anonymous leigh said...

Oh, you know you love me, Furo... hehehehe

4/05/2008 11:06 AM  
Blogger Florence said...

hahahahaha
i can't get over how funny these three comments are. the first one was sublimely intelligent, the second was hilarious, and the third was totally irrelevant.
hahahaha i'm so happy!

4/05/2008 11:46 AM  
Anonymous aika said...

i was thinking the same thing...

4/07/2008 3:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Florence I just read a bunch of your posts, and they're so funny in the most creative way. They make me giggle. But when I think about it thats actually the way you talk, but its hilarious when you read. If I were to make a blog I'd wan t it to be this funny. Junior

4/08/2008 1:00 PM  
Blogger Florence said...

OH JR! You make me so happy. What a sweet sweet, wonderful thing to say to a little kid like me. I love you!

4/09/2008 4:57 PM  

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