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Wednesday, August 20, 2008

A less important birthday

I just realized that one of these days in August (the 16th, to be exact, now that I've gone and looked it up) marks my 4th anniversary of blogdom. I have had almost 5 minutes of indecision about whether I should mention it or treat it as water under the dam. Is it remarkable? Is it pathetic?
Who knows--I usually think it's more the latter. Being as I'm one of those filthy humans who usually cares about people's opinions, I find myself always a little shy of the "I read your blog"s or "Oh you, you're that Florence with the blog"s. Probably because most of the people that were privy to the blog context of my life usually made no detour to the opinion that they thought it was a pathetic waste of time. And it was, for a good portion of my teenager-hood, anyway.
Nowadays, I don't think it's something that I'm altogether ashamed of. I think about it pretty much every time I bother to update, and every time I come to the conclusion that there is still part of my heart that is thankful to have a blog, like there is a part of me that is well-represented here. Or just a part of me that is happy when I hit the publish button after having typed out something that felt right. There is something about being able to open up my brain-bag and line up all the little informations that have collected there and build a little lego house with them, a little something that is structured and neat, that makes me feel like I can throw those pieces away and move on, or that I've conquered and stepped up. It feels like stability, and at the same time it feels like continuity. Most of the time, it feels like something good.
And as much as I've never really intended any of my blog posts to be read as "compositions" or Reflections-style nuggets of inspiration, it's really sweet when people tell me that they enjoy reading, or that they feel the same way (an amazing feat that some people have managed to figure out how I propose to feel). Thank you! And here's to another little while of my own private blogdom. May Jesus bless it, amen.

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