Have A Nice Day

I'm always idealistically (foolishly) attempting these projects that involve me doing some kind of search on the internet for clever quotes. I happened to discover today that wikiquote has a massive database of all the quotes that have ever been submitted as "Anonymous." Here are some that made me perk up this morning.

• But what about my obstacles? Feint left, run right. Charge like a mopapotamus. Blast with lasers. Drag along. Pretend not there. Surmount.
• All That Glitters Is Not Gold, There's Brass And Copper Or It Might Be Plated!
• Build something that's foolproof and they invent a better fool.
• Cancel my subscription, I don't need your issues.
• Contrary to what the cynics say, distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It's for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It's for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don't see it nearly enough.
• Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.
• Deaf people can do anything other people can do except hear. (????)
  
• Don't drink water... Fish have sex in it!
• Even the mighty oak tree was just a little nut once, just like you.
• He who laughs last thinks slowest.
• He’s as sharp as a beach ball.
• Hold my beer and watch this!
• I can tune a guitar, but I can't tuna fish.
• I don't have an attitude problem: you have a perception problem!
• It is easier to create naked art than it is to create clothed porn. (????)
• If a man speaks in a forest, but no woman is around to hear him, is he still wrong?
• If the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
• I intend to live forever – so far, so good!
• I'm pink, therefore, I'm spam!
• In most instances, all an argument proves is that two people are present.
• It's not a bug, it's an undocumented feature.
• Let his own wand ding him. (again...????)
  
• People say I shouldn't frown because it uses more muscles than smiling. Then I point out that Americans need their exercise.
• Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.
• The beatings will continue until morale improves.
• The world would be less violent if everyone used hula hoops.
• There are three types of people in this world: the ones who can count, and those who can't.
• Every quote is a quote.
  
• We will fight them until hell freezes over. Then, we'll fight them on ice.
• Who ever said nothings impossible obviously never tried slamming a revolving door.
• You have no rights. Sit down.
• Your head is not aerodynamically proportioned.