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Thursday, June 18, 2009

Have A Nice Day

I'm always idealistically (foolishly) attempting these projects that involve me doing some kind of search on the internet for clever quotes. I happened to discover today that wikiquote has a massive database of all the quotes that have ever been submitted as "Anonymous." Here are some that made me perk up this morning.
  • But what about my obstacles? Feint left, run right. Charge like a mopapotamus. Blast with lasers. Drag along. Pretend not there. Surmount.
  • All That Glitters Is Not Gold, There's Brass And Copper Or It Might Be Plated!
  • Build something that's foolproof and they invent a better fool.
  • Cancel my subscription, I don't need your issues.
  • Contrary to what the cynics say, distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It's for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It's for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don't see it nearly enough.
  • Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.
  • Deaf people can do anything other people can do except hear. (????)
  • Don't drink water... Fish have sex in it!
  • Even the mighty oak tree was just a little nut once, just like you.
  • He who laughs last thinks slowest.
  • He’s as sharp as a beach ball.
  • Hold my beer and watch this!
  • I can tune a guitar, but I can't tuna fish.
  • I don't have an attitude problem: you have a perception problem!
  • It is easier to create naked art than it is to create clothed porn. (????)
  • If a man speaks in a forest, but no woman is around to hear him, is he still wrong?
  • If the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
  • I intend to live forever – so far, so good!
  • I'm pink, therefore, I'm spam!
  • In most instances, all an argument proves is that two people are present.
  • It's not a bug, it's an undocumented feature.
  • Let his own wand ding him. (again...????)
  • People say I shouldn't frown because it uses more muscles than smiling. Then I point out that Americans need their exercise.
  • Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.
  • The beatings will continue until morale improves.
  • The world would be less violent if everyone used hula hoops.
  • There are three types of people in this world: the ones who can count, and those who can't.
  • Every quote is a quote.
  • We will fight them until hell freezes over. Then, we'll fight them on ice.
  • Who ever said nothings impossible obviously never tried slamming a revolving door.
  • You have no rights. Sit down.
  • Your head is not aerodynamically proportioned.


Blogger Masa Rider said...

"The beatings will continue until morale improves."

Har har... I don't know why this one is funny to me.

6/21/2009 1:02 PM  

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