I give in and post about soccer

Since everybody is talking about soccer, let me just slip into a bitter moment and modify my murdered predictions. Scratch out Japan beating, oh, let's say, Brazil for the big win...
My predictions, as of a few days ago, were Germany versus France. And if anyone tries to steal that from me and say "That was my prediction!", you can stick it where the sun don't shine cause I have proof that I was airing that prediction long before you realized Germany and France weren't the same country. (What? Everyone knows? You mean to say I was the only one? Drat.)
Basically. I'm not big on soccer. But I am big on competition. Soccer really really sucks because I get heart-attacks when I'm watching it. Like seriously. "WHAT? THEY GOT A GOAL? Hold on, I can't breathe."
The suckiest thing about watching soccer matches on television is when the REAL soccer fans try to shut me up because I'm making comments that make me look like a complete "douchebag". Touche.
How can you NOT watch a soccer game without screaming words of love and passion to the goalie when he saves your team, time and time again? How can you not see that the other team is totally cheating every time they get the ball? "MAGNETISM!!!"
Since their real names are so hard to remember, especially when they come from someplace like Croatia (I ask you, how do you pronounce Tzudtzd?), it just goes without saying that the smarter people among us would give them their own names. Okay, I will be the first to admit that it got a little out of hand when I named this long-haired Croatian guy Jesus, and then changed his name to Judas when he started playing well. Damn those backstabbing traitors.
Ha, check it out, I'm like, missing my own point.
Funny thing, lots of people ask me "Since you've been in Japan your entire life, how do you know who to vote for in the Olympics or World Cup?" Well let's look at my options, Canada and the States? Give me a break. Even if they were good teams (hahaha!) Japan is where it's at. Always. For longer than forever. Where the moth doth line.
Eksutoreeeemu Nippon!!! Tappuri Kawaguchi!!!
This is the stupidest thing I've blogged about in a looooong time.

In other news, I'm moving tomorrow.