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Monday, April 16, 2007


I realized something very frightening. You know how, when you have a little extra time and are following links here and there to this blog and that, you come across blogs you've never seen before? And then you read the first post and you think either, "Ha, kind of a funny person. Maybe I'll read more." or "Whoa...seriously boring." or "Yeah, yeah, yeah," or "WOW, way over-doing the articulation about the pleasant winds that blow through the illuminated tree-branches"...
And the FIRST post that you read is the one that you tend to read like you would the blurb on the back of a book. "A book about the boring life of an inarticulate teenager who likes to post stupid comics about AIDS." Not so interesting, try another book?
I do it. If a first post is sorta normal, or if it's desperately overdone in an attempt to sound poetic and introspective, or if it's a bunch of birthday announcements, or if it's a row of amateur photography (or poetry), or a small blurb about something that I'm totally in the dark about ("Jason found me outside in the South House last night, and he found out about my plan!!! My sneaky poopooboy was there to make sure he mashed the sandwich!!!), then I usually forget about that blog and don't go there again.
It's quite frightening, because, I realize, with the abundance of random and retarded posts I've made on this blog over the period of 3 or whatever years, and judging by visitor stats, I must have had people read every single post I've ever written for the "first time". What did they think when I posted about a sperm statue? Or when Elaina posted a rotten banana? Or when I wrote a drawn-out, disinteresting post about first paragraphs and being misjudged on one's blog?
It's not so much that I'm afraid of being misjudged. I more or less feel confident that if someone reads this blog they don't have a contorted or disgusting idea of me. It's pretty close to reality. (Well, except, in reality I don't actually speak many many words in succession before the others respond--I am quite conversational.) But this is a decent portrayal of me because I don't feel right posting an overabundance of things without providing the proper balance. Like, I freak out when I scroll down the page and see mostly song-lyrics and poetry (even if they are Nancy Yitmas). Like DUDE, quick, find some retarded video from you-tube QUICK!!! Maybe that's my libra side kicking in. I don't like to see that I've been posting tons of photos without words, or tons of words without photos.
It just frightens me when someone might read a single paragraph and chuckle or scrunch their face or raise their eyebrow and then just...leave. Just...like..."Wow, okay, I've read enough." Then they know my name, and they see a little picture of me, and they associate me with that one post about...whatever.


Blogger The Cube said...

Funny. You know I've thought about that before, what exactly do people who read a bit (or all) of my blog actualy think, but I've come to the realization that I am not blogging for what others think, I'm writting for me.

So to hell with what the others think

4/16/2007 1:17 PM  
Blogger Gio said...


4/17/2007 4:32 AM  
Blogger Pon said...

well, that's interesting. Never heard someone put like that before. But I do agree, (he-he that's why at times I think my blog is really boring although I post for "me" it still bugs me that it isn't exactly the way it should) I don't think your blog is boring (so no need to freak out).

4/17/2007 4:09 PM  
Anonymous theprincesses said...

snicker snicker...

4/18/2007 4:47 PM  
Anonymous clare said...

I have the same thoughts about people's blogs sometimes, but I'm the type of person who really only looks at blogs to see pictures (of people, not of trees), or to read a bit of controversy every now and then... (shame on me, I know)

4/22/2007 3:49 AM  

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