Some may appreciate.
I see my soul in you
Like a Leiden jar of words
Precious few, that dance like gold
On a pedastal
I feel my flow in you
Like fingers of satin
Combined like macrame
Delightful
Actually mutually
Agreeing
Souls in combined religion
Free admission
Perfect permission
I feel my hand in you
Touching your heart
And the graceful electricity
Still flows
I see my soul in you
Permanent marker
Smudges of artful
Perfection
Actually mutually
Agreeing
Souls in combined religion
Free admission
Perfect permission
The liquor comfort
Of this syncronized pulse
Delightful
(c) F. H. McNair.
Like a Leiden jar of words
Precious few, that dance like gold
On a pedastal
I feel my flow in you
Like fingers of satin
Combined like macrame
Delightful
Actually mutually
Agreeing
Souls in combined religion
Free admission
Perfect permission
I feel my hand in you
Touching your heart
And the graceful electricity
Still flows
I see my soul in you
Permanent marker
Smudges of artful
Perfection
Actually mutually
Agreeing
Souls in combined religion
Free admission
Perfect permission
The liquor comfort
Of this syncronized pulse
Delightful
(c) F. H. McNair.
posted by Florence at 4:37 PM
10 comments:
i hate your poetry
no offence
its just so self absorbbed
somones jealous that you have a way with words.
That's very sweet, L. Thank you.
Anonymous, I have to agree that I have written an overabundance of self-absorbed poetry in my life. But I don't think this was one of those. Hate the ones I've written, please, but not the ones that I receive from my Darling (such as this one).
I like it. It gets a shiner prize. I miss you Flo.
Thank you aich! Talk about a real shiner prize!
I miss you too.
i disagree. The definition of poetry is not Self expression. it's Supposed to be used to express anything in a passionate or emotionally strong way. Many of the best poems were about God or the state of the world or Culture or Society. Also most of the classics were About nature and the beauty of women (other people). most people didn't write about themselves. if that's the kind of poetry you naturally revert to I would incline to be lieve that you are more naturally self-absorbed or love yourself and think that your thoughts and ideas are golden and deserve to be told to the world. That's kind of twisted. lots of people do it, but not in the Family.
Just my two cencs
ps; i'm NOT the anonymous who posted the first comment
That's true that poetry isn't always about introspection and one's self. But there are a lot of people who find some mental surcease in putting their thoughts into poetry, and I would never want to make anyone feel bad about that.
I, for some reason, while I was writing poetry (which I don't do so much anymore), would usually start with whatever came into my head, which were feelings about things I were going through, or things other people were going through. I have always been fascinated by different personalities and perspectives, so maybe that's why. I probably was also self-absorbed, and I freely admit it.
But just to clear the fog a little, I don't write poetry so much any more, at least of the sort that doesn't have a purpose or isn't of an uplifting nature. This poem is something I received (during PNP time), and broke quite a long no-creative-writing fast.
Anonymous who commented at the top was a little hasty with his words, but he has the right to hate my self-absorbed poetry (I hate most of my own self-absorbed poetry, haha). But the second anonymous I don't think was actually talking specifically about me, or if he was, he must have been referring to my old poetry, and not the one above. No offense taken.
Ahhh I pulled some weird joint in my neck during get-out time today.
i intended to state
a heart piercing
throat grabbing
pointy point
but all I can muster is
a weak
retch
in free verse
there isn't much
fight left in
this
self-absorbed one
HEY!! Who's jealous of MY way with words?? Any takers?
I am being a taker.
Hahahaha.
You're right, El. I really swung from quite a left to quite a right.
I am being a taker. And I don't mind being just another one of many.
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