Sweet cameramen

I hate video interviews. Contrary to popular opinion I am very much of a shy person; the only way I manage to mask my shyness is with some sort of foolish sub-witty comments. But if I'm trying to be entirely and completely sincere and happy and godly, I can get very nervous, very fidgety, and very humiliated. I can do that thing where someone aims a camera in my face and I go "Yo wassap" and answer their questions very cleverly without actually answering their questions (and maybe doing a little dance for distraction). But when I get sincere, my face becomes this clean canvas of inner turmoil. Even when I've committed the whole thing to the Lord and said, "Lord, humble me, use me as You will," and I'm not even trying to be cool...I look like I'm desperately wringing my heart out. How does one look just blissfully happy in Jesus? Does it come with practice? How can I not look so pathetic please?

Snail

This is a snail.

(Lots of prayers please!)

Roughing it in Shiz

I'm tempted to just deliver a boring synopsis of events and get the heck out of here because I have a lot of things to do and a lot of things to read...but what kind of a person would I be? If I start cutting my blog posts short, what else will go in my life? Will I start cutting my sleeping short, and my eating, my breathing? God forbid! I will put a fork in it right here and now and draw this blog post out, baby, the good ol' Florence way! PTL I won that battle!
So Steve, Yosh, and I were carted down to Shizuoka for various reasons last week (last week? I think it was last week. A couple days ago, anyway), and one of those reasons was to participate in two CTPs. Now I have been in my share of haphazard CTPs, but these were so classy and so much fun that I can't categorize them with the haphazard. They were beautiful. Here are some smiley pictures.


Obviously we didn't think to take any of the sort of photos that are not show photos. But it was great to be together. Steve, Yosh and I hung around for a good while in the dining room the night after we spent an hour rehearsing "HAPPY" (which I couldn't find any pictures of, your loss), Sorya and YMCA. Fran gave us some painful Imojochu. Yosh pointed out that for the first time the three of us were actually officially in the same age group (the way things are supposed to be). We watched "Hair" and I haven't gotten over poking my eyes out every time I think of it.
Hey! You might catch my sister Kelly (with the lightbulb hair) and AM Kana in some of those photos, graciously trying to help us to vamp up our show. They're awesome.

Findings

Yesterday I caught at least three instances of Andrea Bocelli singing “Tomato” in a song. There were some instances of “Tomata”, which I did not count. The search continues.

The One Where Florence Bakes A Cake

Apparently the part in that last questionnaire where I answered Yes to "Have you ever baked a cake without a recipe?" stirred some members of my home to a little incredulous-ness on the subject. I tried to defend myself by getting my mom to admit to everyone that I used to bake a lot of cakes and cookies when I was young (and restless), but apparently she didn't remember as much of that as I do. My pride being thus prodded, I decided to redeem myself by doing the unthinkable...I baked a birthday cake. (The poor helpless person whose birthday fell on the day that I felt the need to bake a cake. Happy birthday, Kazue!!!)
Since I'm definitely NOT a fblogger (alternate names include foologger, fooderblooger, and floobooger, but they basically all mean "one who blogs on the topic of food") I did not take a picture, nor will I post the recipe for it (as if I could remember it after all the spur-of-the-moment substitutions, generally not a good idea).

Things I knew before I started baking my cake:
Baking a cake for a Family home sometimes is a considerable amount of work.
Generally cakes are baked by throwing ingredients together into a bowl and mixing (wildly, if you want ANY FUN at all).
Baking a cake requires an oven and a pan.

Things I knew after I baked my cake:
Baking a cake for a Family home is definitely a considerable amount of work and it will take up all of your free time.
There is more than one way to "mix" a cake: one must "blend", "combine", or (my personal favorite), "cut and fold".
It is not okay to "mix until I feel like it's ready". One must resist the temptation to continue mixing, at a certain point, lest they end up with a birthday pancake.
One must hope for a recipe that is more specific than "some salt", lest they multiply their recipe by 10 and end up with instructions that read "quite a hefty amount of salt".
One must not leave one's cake in the oven 10 minutes longer "just in case".
One must be sure one has all the necessary ingredients in the house before one begins. One should at least make sure one has all the missing ingredients on a list and a suitable amount of money before one goes out to the store. If one does not do this, one may end up going back to the store 4 times (Oh Lord).

And I have not changed my stance on the matter of cooking; I did not enjoy a single moment of it. There was not even a five minute inspiration-high in the beginning of it...not a single drop of happiness except a little fleeting feeling of glee when my batter first started to look like chocolate milk and I thought "Lordy, I've wasted all the ingredients!!!" The Lord gave me JUST enough joy to see the task through, and not an ounce more. This experiment was purely for the sake of changing up stuff and not being an old bottle, so I will continue to be a new bottle and hop right on to other things.

Bringing you up to date

The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an eagle to a condom, because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance.
A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed.

A Post For The Chickens

Dear sweet chickens that have been e-mailing me all manner of questionnaires and asking me why I never post them on my blog, here is your answer: I don't think so highly of myself that I think everyone's interested in the little insignificant details about me. I would understand if I was some sort of celebrity or if I did something tremendous and award-winning, that then maybe people might want to know then, but I don't think they really care now. That's why I don't bother.
But since more than two of you sent me THIS one, I will just go ahead and fill it out for you. Also it looks like a little bit of fun.

Have you ever...
Sung someone to sleep? Yes
Been to a psychiatrist? No
Baked a cake without a recipe? Yes
Recorded your voice? Yes. HAHA I got this funny mental picture of a sweet little teen boy recording himself narrating his own secret radio show on his little walkaman. It sounds like something I would have done when I was younger, heh heh.
Written a novel? Yes
Had a paying job? Yes
Considered a paying job? Yes
Lost a loved-one? Not really
Been in a band? Yeeeeeeeees.
Danced in front of people? Yes
Wanted children? Not...seriously.
Been to a concert? Yes
Cried yourself to sleep? Not that I can remember.
Met someone famous? Yes
Wanted to be famous? HA, yes.
Used a rhyming dictionary? Shameful. (Yes.)
Drew/painted a piece of art to completion? Yes
Streaked? Oh yes! Elaina and Phil, come and remember this with me.
Gone somewhere deliberately in the hopes of running into someone? Yes
Felt so incapable of expressing love that you cried? Yes.
Written a song? ...Can I lie?
Climbed a mountain? No
Wished you were the opposite gender? No
Stayed up all night? Yes
Been heartbroken? Uhhhhh...isn't that sort of relative? Something that might break someone's heart or...something that someone would consider "heartbreak"... Okay I'll just say I've managed to stay pretty happy despite and I don't think I'd have told anyone that my heart was "broken".
Been in love with someone who had no idea? ...No.

Do you...
Stop reading books halfway through? Only when they're a total waste of my time, and losing my "must finish the book all the way through" principles is a small sacrifice in comparison.
Sleep during movies? Only like twice in my life.
Cry during movies? No.
Talk a lot? Yes
Do you try to talk less? Oh God yes.
Sleep better alone? Not usually. I can't sleep very well with a person I'm not feeling entirely generous toward, though.
Own a pair of glasses? Two.
Pinch pennies? No
Quickly lose interest in projects? ...Unimportant ones, after I've discovered that they're not worth the time.
Misplace things? Not often. (Now that I've said this, just wait; the Lord'll make me lose a zillion important things just to humble me.)
Buy stationery before you need it? Terrible NWO. (Yes)
Love math? HATE IT.
Know a lot of random facts? ...Maybe? Not really?
Do romantic, thoughtful things for the people you love? ...Only when I have gotten over my fear of bothering them, being misunderstood, or going too far. I am quite a scared person.
Have difficulty getting rid of things you don't use? No
Notice and remember little things about people? Little things about their personalities, yes. Little things about the way they dress, or little things they do with their hands, not very well.
Prefer wine to beer? Not...really.
Do an accent? Hahaha yes.
Enjoy the spotlight? Not altogether afraid of it, but don't like to get into it more than is necessary.
Love board games? ...Not particularly.
Buy your own shampoo or toothpaste? ...Not currently.
Wish people would stop talking about you? ...I'm not MADLY wishing that, no.
Keep a journal? No, not unless you call a blog a journal.
Enjoy exotic foods? No. I have really mild taste buds.
Cook elaborately for yourself? Never.
Have expensive taste? No
Write on yourself? Yes.
Stay up late? Yes
Absolutely love your perfume/cologne or use it because you have it? ...uh. Neither. I bought it and liked it, but wouldn't buy it again. It works.
Wish you could be someplace else? Sometimes.
Miss people? Yes
Organize to a fault? ...I get a crazy impulse sometimes, and it takes a few seconds to come off of it and realize it's too much trouble and it would probably just annoy people more than it would benefit them.
Take a long time to be satisfied with your work? Not at all.
Wear clothes that are too big for you? No
Own more than 10 pens? Yes
Wear make-up every day? Certainly not.
Get angry often? No, unless you were to send me a lot of weird e-mails saying "UPDATE YOUR BLOG!!" May you burn.

A sweet post of love for Mommy

Father and Florence, with conniving teamwork, converged in Florence's room to hurry up and post this happy mother's day post while Mom is upstairs looking at my blog. (Dad comes running down the stairs: "Now is our chance! She's reading your post with all the questions and answers! Quickly post before she loses interest!")

A song written by Dad for Mom in 2004

When we first met
I fell from the start
I fell for your smile
And your wide-open heart

You invited me in
And I came to stay
I fell for you then
And I'm falling today.

Years flew on by
A baby down the road
I watched as you held her
As treasures of gold.

And after long days
We'd sit in moonlight
Sip our cheap drinks
And CENSORED TO PROTECT THE SANITY OF THE OFFSPRING in the night

Yes, there were some hard years
I will not deny
Our love was sore tested
There were nights when we cried

But through all those hardships
Frustrations and tears
You never forsook me,
But stuck through the years.

And now, a lot older
Through right and through wrong
You're one thing I have
That's stayed true all along

One leap in my life
That I'll gladly replay
Was when I fell for you then,
And I'm still falling today.

Meditaaay-hey-hey-shunnit!

Maybe I'm super not so smart, but I've always struggled with trying to understand the concept of meditation. What is it? Is it emptying your mind and thinking of absolutely nothing else (in which case it would be near impossible for me to do)? Is the Lord satisfied with your attempt at meditation if you have to put it into words just in order to concentrate? I have this issue where, if I spend a few seconds alone with Jesus, I end up pouring out my heart and praying desperately to the Lord for all sorts of things. Is that totally missing the meditation mark? Sometimes I sit and imagine a place, and imagine Jesus and I there...and it makes me happy. But am I supposed to totally and completely imagine nothing at all?
The whole thing seemed quite confusing and conflicting to me. "Meditation Testimonies" has been the hugest relief to me. Anything that helps me to understand the Lord and what He wants of me better inspires me to no end. This paragraph especially summed up meditation for me. Finally, I'm as excited about it as I always wished I could be.

Mostly after you finish sharing your heart with the Lord, and after the tears have been shed, and you're done crying and you're feeling spent emotionally, that's the time you just rest and feel His embrace. And that's meditation. He brings up anything He wants to. You're emotionally spent, and now you're just listening, just being held.

I'm definitely one of those sinners whose mind runs too fast for her legs (blasted Libra), who parks the car and leaves the engine running. I've never been able to sit and vegetate. I could never reconcile myself with the idea that the Lord would ask me to sit and vegetate. And now I realize that he doesn't necessarily want me to.
One thing I have always loved to do though, is sit and think about Jesus. When I start praising Him, there is no end to the things that I can praise Him for, and I get happier and happier with every second of praising. I also love singing, and I can sing songs to the Lord for a long, long time. I've written many a cruddy and cliche song just in the spur of the moment, with a desire to sing something whole-hearted to the Lord, from me. I can read the Word and ask the Lord questions about it, read and reread a passage over and over and just feel the words seeping into my brain and making more and more sense by the minute. I can sit at my computer and type long, long messages of love to the Lord (as long-winded and redundant as I am, it's no small wonder). I can draw silly little pictures of aliens with big eyes and speech bubbles that say "Jesus, thank You for loving such a silly little thing like me."
And I'm so glad that all of those things just bring me that much closer to Him, and make meditation that much easier.

Taureans that I love

I've been considering this post on and off for a few days. And since my brain has not found the time to properly weigh the pros and cons, and since I'm sitting here with a few minutes on my hands before dinner time, I will be daring and post the post that I have not yet thought through.
This post is about the Tauruses that I love (Tauruses is to Taureans as Walruses is to Walreans. You decide.) The major "con" to posting about more birthdays is...who wants to hear about birthdays? There are a zillion other blogs that one can go to if one wants to hear about how popular one is and how many friends one has whose birthdays one remembers. I prefer to feel like a different kind of friend than the sort that will post something on her blog on your birthday and consider it a good birthday present. However, I am beginning to find that I am actually more or less that sort of person (gasp!), and so I will suck it up and be honest with myself and the world and go ahead and at least give you the small space on my blog that you deserve--the little bitty paragraph that tells you "I love you at least this much, please believe me." etc.
In introduction, I think you must all agree with me when I say that Tauruses are the handsomest, most sexy beasts of love.
Jonie will definitely agree with me on that score. He is the sexiest/only Polynesian man I have ever known. If we got married we would be the UNICEF Couple of the Year, and we would go off and do humanitarian aid projects in underdeveloped countries (and meet his long lost relatives). But since neither of us are really up for that, we'll just settle for being best friends and love each other like that. Happy Birthday; I've always felt at a loss as to how to show you how much I love you, and I've never really felt that way with anyone before. But I've never really met anyone more endlessly and unconditionally loving than you. I owe you so much. (The picture is for you because you are the loofiest loof I know.)
Now Mikey Dee, special honorable mention, is a man that can always make me feel special. I have to say, in all honesty, the first thing that I realized about this man was that he readily and wholeheartedly laughed with me and made me feel like he enjoyed my company. I'll really never be able to abandon all doubt and truly believe that he DOES like hanging out with me, but I'll suck it up and accept the love because it really is quite special, and I will humbly and freely admit that it honors me. May you always sweat healthy amounts and be one of the funnest men I know.
Hiki, the man who loses his eyes beneath his smile, is a priceless guy whose friendship I shall forever feel unworthy of. I still flounder for a way to really truly accept his compliments, because I feel so much less than he is, and he loves me like an equal. I can totally see you being the last man standing, Hiki; you've been a great encouragement to be and given me the warrior vision too many times to count. I miss you. And your little brother Yasu isn't half bad either. Heh heh.
There's Jesse (Aika's lucky husband) who was a great friend to me during sort of a tempestuous time. May you never believe Junior when he tries to convince you that I had a massive crush on you (you knew who I was really crushing on). You are quite a sexy beast, though, and any sons you have will be lucky to know that they were created from such class A DNA. Happy Birthday, prayin' for ya.
Holy smokes, I can't name a single Taurus girl. HA, someone help.

Hurrah! A Bunch of Little Informations!

I feel that I owe the Internet a short and meaningless few answers to a few random and meaningless questions about myself, because the Internet loves me and has missed me for many days.

Do you get along better with guys or girls?
Growing up I've always gotten along better with guys. But I'm learning to like girls now too.
If someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you?
I think everyone's curious, and it would sort of drive me nuts if I knew there was someone that liked me but just could never put my finger on who it was. But the thing that troubles me after I know is that I'm not content to just "know". Obviously if someone tells me that they like me, they're hoping for a response of some kind...and if I don't know what kind of response to give them or if I can't give them the response that they're hoping for I go quite crazy and try to screw things up to make them happy, but I know that it doesn't work, so I try to do it just a little bit. I'm a stupid Libra and I need to just PTL Hallelujah!
Does it matter to you if your boyfriend/girlfriend smokes?
Uh...yes. Even people that try to pull off a "recreational" smoke now and then...ahhh gnashing of teeth!!
Last person you texted?
Mike.
Do you like shows like Forensic Files and Unsolved Mysteries?
Uh. Not ashamed to say I have absolutely no idea.
Do you prefer to take showers at night or in the morning?
Late late late at night.
List people you were/are best friends with?
Oh don't make me do it, oh God. Were? How far back "were" are we talking about? Rejoice, Joey, Aika, Jesse, Emi, Elaina, Jonie, Tomo, Nao, Tomoki, Masa, Steve...? I don't know!!! I'm probably forgetting lots of people. My friends are mostly an entirely different crowd now.
Name the best people who could cheer you up?
Steve, Masa, Josh, Gene, Mike D., Munchie, Jonie... SO many people. I'm so easy to cheer up.
Have you been to New York City?
No.
Who is the last person you added to your contacts list in your phone?
...Aika.
Do you have any expensive jewelery?
Uhhh...no. Oh gosh, now I need some to feel better about myself. (<--just a little jaykay!)
Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Jonie.
Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?
I haven't had a friend of the female gender who knew all about me in a long time.
Heard any really great quotes lately?
Oh so many.
Do you think you have made a difference in anyone's life?
There is something that I love about this question. My first reaction to it was to put something modest like "...Jesus I hope so." But then I realized, gosh, of course I have, because I'm serving the Lord and that's what I try to devote my life to. But then...huh? How do you answer this question properly and cleverly? (Definitely rambling on about it is not a good way to answer it properly and cleverly)
Do you remember the name of your first school you ever went to?
Uh. Nagoya Massive Combo Blob School!
Have/would you ever tattooed anyones name on you?
Yes.
What is the name of your siblings best friend?
Dan's best friends are many, and mostly females. I think Joanna is his BEST friend...and I'd better not list the rest because then I'd have to call them "secondary" friends.
What's the most appealing thing about the opposite sex?
Relative distance. Heh. Oh God that was a lame answer but I refuse to amend it, because I really don't know what else I could say.
Which year has been the best so far?
18. But I think I've said that in the beginning of every year. It must be the newness, and shortness, and freshness of a new year that I like. And by the time it's over it's been long, tiring, and too eventful to think objectively about.
Ever found more than a dollar/pound in a random place?
Dollars and pounds are scarce in these parts.
Has anyone ever been more important to you than a family member?
Yes.
Last time you smiled!
Oh God. My face is sun burnt and I'm quite tired and no one has come into my room in a while to smile at, so I'm not sure.
Last text message in your inbox?
From Mike sending me a funny picture.
Whens your next road trip?
Never been on one.
Would you cry if you found out you were pregnant?
Uh. Don't know. Not much of a crier. The Lord could pull a fast one and make me weepy, I suppose. I think I would spend a great deal of time laughing though.
Where is your phone?
I don't have a phone. I USE a phone that I do not own. It is currently on the dashboard of the car (note to self: must retrieve).
Do you think your current pets will be alive ten years from now?
I have no pets. AHH at last, a short answer!
When was your last bubble bath?
Let me think...bubble bath...bubble bath. Does a bath need to have actual bubbles in it to count as a bubble bath?
Do you know anyone by the name of Dennis?
HAHA! We used to!! We used to know this Peruvian guy named Dennis who came over to the house on a bike and brought his Playstation. That's how Steve learned all his Spanish phrases like "Trahiste tu Playstation?"
Where is your pet right now?
In my evil mind.
What color phone do you have?
The one that I occasionally get my hands on is silver. The one that I answer around the house all the time is grey, and the one that I use to make phone calls from the house is black.
How many kids do you want to have?
Good Lord.
What outfit do you have on at this exact moment?
Wow. What a kinky question. Uh. Jeans, black socks, a T-shirt, and a cap. I'm so on top of my fashion.
What color are your eyes?
Dull and greyish, like the street.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Having a free day (at last thank you God)
Do you know someone who likes you?
Yes
Does a heartbreak feel as bad as it sounds?
Ugh. Shut up about heartbreak.
What color is your hair?
People say I'm blonde but my hair is clearly the color of mud.
What are things you hate losing?
Other people's things.
Have you eaten popcorn in the past 48 hours?
Yes! A man in a popcorn stall at the Theme park gave me a massive bag of popcorn (that I ate about half of and my lips felt like they must have looked like a salty plum from Taiwan gets, all shrivelly and quite not so good-looking)!
Have you ever been in handcuffs?
Yes. (sigh)
If you could say anything to any one person what would it be?
I really do super love you and I know enough to know that it's not enough but it is still a darn lot and I'm working on a better way to say it. Have a nice day, you.

Fingers

I have been in Gifu making many balloons and taking many pictures and selling many pictures and speaking many Japaneses with many Japanese peoples.
May you never be subject to 8 hour days under the hot sun in a clown suit.
The best thing is that after several days of intense searing by the sun, one has been stamped with a convenient red stencil in the shape of clown make-up. Yes, including the circle on the nose.
Another fun thing that I have come away from Gifu with is band-aids on my hands (four, if I really get hardcore and count). One band-aid concealing the sweet gifts that all the friction love-making with my balloon pump left me with, one concealing a very suspicious fingernail wound that I just woke up and had (and was bleeding from), and one concealing a slightly smaller cut. The last one I acquired at a pinnacle of bravado--swiping the top off of a can of tuna. I'm usually quite paranoid about sharp things in the kitchen, but I had a powerful sensation of courage and removed the risky item in one swift motion, subsequently gouging my finger in one swift motion. Isn't it strange how you don't really "feel" the cut, but have a little "check" to look at your finger, and you get to watch as all of the blood suddenly floods to the spot like the Egyptian army and starts pouring out and all over your hand. It's one huge thrill and one huge pile of bloody tissues. Bravado indeed.
And I leave you now.