It's those durned things

I got it.
It's too many messages.
I've written one too many politically correct messages with a "GBY! I hope and pray that you and your home are having an inspiring time preparing for the witnessing offensive!" opening paragraph. It's the place that creativity goes to die.
I wish I could write an all-homes message in free verse. Or like...rap. Or like, a Shakespearean sonnet. Something.
I'm totally at peace while I'm writing them, though. Like, there's nothing that comes more naturally. Sometimes I get a little too poetic and put in a sentence like "Obviously the idea of following this little white rabbit does not thrill us through and through," and have to change it to "It doesn't seem like a very good idea to us." Or like "Clearly, this man is suffering from a wicked blow to the genitals, or the head (don't touch the joke, it hasn't washed in days)" to "There must have been a misunderstanding somewhere." I actually managed to sneak by with a "It's almost as if we're looking for a spoon that we all know doesn't exist" in a message the other day.
But in general it's great.