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Thursday, September 06, 2007

A little birthday weep

I want to dedicate this post to my parents.
Somehow it doesn't feel like I can give anything any real importance or depth when I post it here. This blog isn't really a golden pedastal, but it's all I've got. So I guess this is what I do. If I were a famous singer, I would write them a song and sing it in front of millions of people. If I were a famous talk show host I would deliver a special soliloquy to my zillions of viewers. But I'm just Florence, so I will write something small on my blog. Whether I were famous or not, the words would probably be the same, anyway--and even if I want the whole world to know how wonderful my parents are, when it comes down to it, it's probably just fine as long as they know that this is how I feel.
Mom and Dad, I love you both very much. You're both sooo polar; it's interesting how I can love you both so much, or that I wouldn't prefer one of you over the other. Where would I be without Mom's silly way of making me feel warm and cared for? Where would I be without Dad's hugeness, Dad's solid mind that you just sort of...know (wow, that was messy).
I owe you both so much. I owe Mom my fleeting bursts of inspiration and emotion (which you can have back anytime, by the way), and silly sort of easy-going permissiveness that gets me into a lot of trouble, riding my benefit-of-doubt here, there and everywhere. But I also owe her my color, my confidence, my expressiveness, my nature.
Dad, I owe you a lot about me. I don't know how to say a lot of it without sounding like I have a rosy opinion of myself, since a lot of what you gave me is just plain wonderful. Mom gave me a desire to express myself, and you gave me a way to do it. You gave me my curiosity, my hunger for more. You gave me any bit of determination that I have in me; you gave me a desire to be strong no matter what. You trusted me, and taught me how to be deserving of that trust. You made me feel important. You made me feel wonderful.
The most beautiful thing about you is that neither of you are perfect. I think it's only the fact that you were my parents and I had no choice in the matter that made me try to love you as hard as I did. And now you are all the more wonderful to me because of the things that I understand about you, the things that I remember, the things that you forgive, and the things that I forgive. You really are remarkable people--you should hear your sons do publicity about you. It's funny that as we all get old enough to step away from the trees, we see this humungous beautiful forest that we've been blessed to live in for so many years.
I definitely am blessed to live with you guys and be so close to you guys this past year or so. I don't know if you know that I know, but I know. I always know. I read your e-mails. Because I care. (hahahahahahahahaha!!!)
I'm kidding. I don't know much. But I know that, with all the things that you've been struggling to change, and with all the changes that happened automatically, you have been polished and shine even more brilliantly than you ever did. If only everyone that knew you in the past could come and see you now. You've very beautiful people. I will go upstairs and hug you now.

Daddy, Mommy, as overly poetic and dramatic as this may sound, thank you for taking the journey with me. Thank you for being the perfect parents--I can't imagine a more perfect set of guardians and teachers for me.

Happy birthday, you two young folks.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

You might not be famous Florence but your a singer none the less!

9/06/2007 10:13 PM  
Anonymous One of the prodigal daughters said...

You are a terrific singer, and apperantly a terrific daughter. The only "non-prodigal" daughter, shall we say?

9/08/2007 1:15 AM  

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