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Thursday, February 14, 2008

Making mistakes (and stuff)

So I'm a big mistake-maker and can't help but make all sorts of mistakes all the time. Most bewildering are those mistakes that I make that I can't help but recall having made before--over and over. I guess that's what it takes, sometimes.
I'm not talking about spilling the milk or coming to devotions at the wrong time because your home manager forgot to tell you about the change. I'm talking about the sort of mistakes that...well...
The kind that are the most difficult to deal with because there's no real, concrete way to let people you're sorry. Mostly because there comes a time when trying so hard to convince people that you meant well becomes nothing but a selfish endeavor to fix the situation, and people are tired of listening to you.
The kind that can't ever be mended, can't even be emotionally tended to in the right way, because everyone's emotions are different, and there's no way to know exactly how to make someone love you again; and the only reason you can't stand to let them love you in their own time is because you can't stand to wait around with the knowledge that you are a sinner, and they know it.
The kind that create sort of a hole in your heart that you know you'll just need to keep trusting the Lord to fill from now on.
The kind that are good to look at, learn from, and hand over to the Lord--even if he wants to mount them on the wall for everyone to look at, it's because he sees them as the worthiest trophies that you ever won in your life.
As long as you are really desiring to do your best for Jesus, your successes will always be greater than your failures.


Blogger Nina said...

I love the way you write and express yourself. This is pretty much exactly the way I feel right now. I love the quote at the end, so true!
"It doesn't matter how many times you fall as long as you keep getting back up again!"
I love you!

2/15/2008 3:00 AM  
Blogger Miss B said...

It's those we love the most who we will probably hurt the most. Why? Because we have opened our hearts to each other in that way.

But there is never a mistake that cannot be mended. If someone can't forgive, then cannot experience true love.

I believe in you. And I believed in you before Strawberry Jam.

2/17/2008 3:08 PM  
Blogger kathy said...

wow that was so perfectly written! exactly what i've been going through and you put it in words to the T. all the love Flo!

2/18/2008 11:16 AM  
Blogger Florence said...

Nina: I love you too. You're so special.

Haven: You are so wonderful to me. I don't understand half of why you have so much love for me, but it humbles and thrills me all at once. Thank you so much for every word.

Kathy: I'm glad you can relate. I don't think my life is in any way more complicated or difficult than the next person's, and it's nice to know that there are other people who go through the same things.

2/19/2008 11:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So sweet desune...are you writing about someone...toyopet?

3/02/2008 1:12 AM  
Blogger Florence said...

Not really...toyopet.

3/02/2008 7:37 AM  

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